One Little Fish

Help!

2010-11-23T19:49:00.000-05:00

In case this blog is still on anyone's readers I wanted to share this link. Please consider donating (and no, that's not me. My name is not Jen).

http://jenhelpinghaiti.blogspot.com/2010/11/help-jen-help-haiti_22.html

The Difference

2010-10-20T13:58:00.000-04:00

I hate when people say, "even the most beautiful women have things they hate about themselves." In what way is that supposed to make non-beautiful women feel better? There is a big huge difference. A beautiful woman might not like something about herself, but the entire rest of the world doesn't see anything wrong. When you are a non-beautiful woman, the things that you think are wrong with you are actually wrong and everyone else in the world sees it, knows it and is quite often very happy to remind you of it.

I know I'm supposed to pretend like we're all in this together; beautiful, average and ugly alike, but the truth is we're not.

The Stupidity of Hope

2010-08-26T11:37:00.001-04:00

Hope is the dumbest, most useless and most potentially harmful feeling in the whole spectrum of human emotion. Hope may or may not harm you, but there is no possible way that it can help you so doesn't it make more sense to err on the side of safety and fight the feeling.

If you hope for something really good and it doesn't happen you're left devastated. If you hope for something good and it does happen, you're happy. If you have no hope for anything good and nothing good happens, you simply go on as you always have. If you have no hope and something good does happen, you're happy. Hope gives you something to lose; living with out hope does not.

I can not think of one example ever of hoping for something making it actually happen, but I can think of millions of examples of people, myself among them, who were crushed by that pointless, useless emotion.

Hope sucks.

Seriously...

2010-08-24T16:40:00.002-04:00

Nothing good? Just more crap. Awesome. Thanks.

You want to tell me again to believe in that karma bullsh*t.

And Things Just Keep Getting Worse

2010-08-11T13:01:00.000-04:00

Awesome, right? Doesn't the law of averages mean that something at some point has to be good; that not every single thing can be complete and utter sh*t all the time? I guess not.

What Do You Do...

2010-07-29T22:47:00.000-04:00

...when hope starts to creep in? Do you embrace it or do you run?

Pray for me. Please, pray for me.

Bad Is Bad

2010-07-17T13:43:00.000-04:00

Things are so bad right now that I don't even think I can remember what good felt like anymore.

Wouldn't it be nice...

2010-07-13T23:24:00.001-04:00

...if I had someone to talk to. I mean really talk to. I mean not someone who says, "you know you can always talk to me," but really they'll tell me that I am wrong or silly for feeling the way I feel.

Wouldn't that be nice...

Mister Mister

2010-06-04T16:41:00.000-04:00

I shouldn't be writing here, but I am so here goes...

A few weeks ago I'm out at an event and I meet a guy. He seems ok so I give him my number. He calls and the conversation is pretty boring, but I agree to go out with him. It was the longest two hours of my life. Seriously sitting home and staring at a blank wall would've been more stimulating! He was perfectly nice and perfectly boring and a bit socially inept. I got the impression that he wasn't in to me either. I was wrong.

He called to ask me out again. I have been given the advice many times that, as long as someone is reasonably nice, you should always give them a second date because they may have just been nervous on the phone. So I called him back and agreed to go out again. He wanted to talk a little more though and the phone conversation was just as boring as the date. The phone call made me even less enthusiastic about going out with him, but at that point I'd already agreed. Anyway, the plan is to meet up on Sunday.

Shortly after I met Mr. Boring I met another guy. He is the opposite of Mr. Boring, but I'm skeptical of him. He is very sexy and very fun, but I'm not sure how serious he is. Our first phone conversation was great, our first date was so much fun and subsequent phone calls and text message have been equally thrilling!

He and I are both very busy and the first day we could come up with to see each other is Sunday. I know, I know, I'm a bad person for telling Mr. Thrill that I am free when I already agreed to see Mr. Boring, but I really really want to see him again!

So now what do I do? Do I lie and tell Mr. Boring that something came up or do I tell Mr. Boring that I can only do early afternoon coffee, get it over with and then meet up with Mr. Thrill?

Help!

No One To Talk With

2010-06-03T23:25:00.000-04:00

I have no one to talk to. I wish I had someone to talk to. I wish I had started another blog that was safe. A blog that people who shouldn't be reading this blog don't know about. If that blog existed I would be able to tell you guys what was going on and ask your advice, but right now I can't. It sucks.

Surviving

2010-05-15T01:55:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I wish I still blogged. I wish I had thought of a name that inspired me and started another blog that no one in my real life knew about. I wish that I didn't feel that it's ridiculous to start a blog when you really have nothing to say because really who wants to read endless posts about how incredibly sad you are? Sometimes I want to write so badly, but I just can't or don't or won't. Who knows....

These days when people ask how or what I'm doing, I often answer, "surviving," because really, what else is there to say? I wake up in the morning, I brush my teeth, I put on clothes and makeup and I do whatever I need to do that day and I do the same the next day and the next. It's not really living; just surviving.

What's In A Name

2010-03-04T14:22:00.002-05:00

Every once in awhile these days, I think I might like to write something. Trust me when I say that you probably don't want to read the things I want to write, but I still need a place to write them. Of course, because of some shitty people, I no longer feel safe writing here. I think, farily often, of starting a new blog, but I can't think of what to call it. It may not make sense to other people, but to me it starts with the name. The title, One Little Fish, means something to me and I love that the name is so easy to remember. If anyone has any ideas for a new name please email me (don't leave it in the comments where the above mentioned shitty people can see it). Also, if I do start a new blog and you'd like to read it please give me your email address so I can let you know when it's up.

You can reach me at onelittlefish [at] ymail [dot] com

Help Haiti. Help Chile.

Break

2010-01-27T14:43:00.002-05:00

I can't write about another heartbreak. I just can't.

This blog used to feel like a safe place for me, but it's not anymore. I'm taking an indefinite break.

I'm sorry that means no final installment of the Beauty School Project, but it was a stupid, pointless idea anyway. Who cares what you think of you, that's not important. What other people think of you is the only thing that really matters.

Sorry.

Help Haiti, they still need it.

Open Your Hearts and Your Wallets

2010-01-13T13:05:00.004-05:00

I'm sure that, like me, you were all greatly saddened to hear of the devastating earthquake in Haiti. This earthquake would've been terrible anywhere, but Haiti is one of the poorest nations in the world, making this event even more catastrophic. Please keep the people of Haiti in your thoughts and prayers and please open your wallets! I know times are tough, but even $5 helps.

MSNBC put together a great list of organizations where you can easily donate: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/34835478/ns/world_news-haiti_earthquake/?ns=world_news-americas

In Defense of Men

2010-01-11T09:55:00.002-05:00

I may have discussed this before, but I absolutely hate it when women make, "all men," statements. You know what I'm talking about; "All men only want one thing," or, "All men are afraid of commitment," or when a friends lover behaves badly they say, "That's men for you." As far as I'm concerned, lumping all men in to one category is no better than making generalizations about people based on race or religion. Also, as I like to point out to these women, most of us know plenty of good men even if they are our relatives, friends or our friends significant others, so doesn't that disprove that, "all men are..."

Recently an acquaintance shared a theory with me. She is someone who believes that, "all men are [insert bitter, jaded adjective]." She told me that she believes that men are jerks because women get hurt all the time and eventually get over it; men, on the other hand, get hurt once and that's it, the walls are up and they will never be a good guy again.

Obviously I think that's ridiculous, I know many a great guy who has come through his share of heartbreaks, but it did get me thinking about something about how our society treats men post-breakup and that made me sad for men.

When women suffer a heartache we encourage them to cry it out and talk to others. We send our female friends encouraging notes, interesting self-help articles and words of wisdom. We regularly check in to see how they're doing and we encourage them to get back out there only when the time is right. With men it's a completely different story.

When men suffer a heartache they are expected to suck it up. They'd never be encouraged to talk about their feelings. There friends will gladly, and with all good intentions, take them out for a boys night, but they're unlikely to talk about real feelings. Can you imagine how hard that must be? Can you imagine ending a relationship and being given no resources to heal? That has to be rough.

So here's a shout out to all of the good men* out there; thanks for being awesome even when the world makes that a tough task!

*If you're a good guy reading this blog drop me an email, I know plenty of good girls all over the country from upstate NY to Minnesota to Utah. :-)

Beauty School: Part V

2010-01-06T09:44:00.005-05:00

Happy New Year!!

I'm excited that my first post of 2010 is the fifth edition of the Beauty School Project. Can you believe that we only have one more month of this project? After I post the last installment, on February 3rd, I'm going to see if any of the wonderful ladies who participated in this project would like to guest post about there impressions of it and what it was like to participate.

I hope you all started this year out feeling beautiful. Usually I would never pick a favorite of these self-compliments, but I think that once you read these, you'll agree that Erin's is a standout!!

Lisa: I like my arms. They have gotten slender over the last year since I have been working out more. I can now wear a sleeveless dress and not feel self conscious!!

Jen: My legs not only get me from place to place, they are pretty fantastic looking as well. When I was heavier, I still always liked my calves and when I lost weight and could wear corduroys with out starting a fire I got really excited. Next to my eyes they get me the most compliments and provide me with a sense of confidence!

Kylie: I like my nose. It's not too big and not too small. I think it's just right for me!

Little Fish (that's me): I won the genetic lottery when it comes to cheekbones. Both of my parents have really high cheek bones which resulted in me having supermodel high cheek bones.

Mandy: One thing I really like about myself is how my face looks without makeup. Especially those moments after just washing my face, looking at myself in the mirror completely fresh faced and void of any makeup, its me in the very truest sense. I actually feel more beautiful right then.

Nora: As a young girl I spent a lot of my time in classical ballet training and as a result of the constant reminders about posture, I love my posture. I naturally stand up straight, shoulders back, stomach pulled in. It sounds totally silly but remembering to keep my posture strong makes me feel elegant and more ladylike.

Katie: I have amazing lips. They're the a beautiful color naturally and wonderfully full. The top lip has a beautiful little bow in it. They're probably one of my favorite features.

Auburn Kat: I love my scars, from the huge scar I have on my knee from a biking accident to the scar I have on my shin from celebrating the Bills actually winning and me subsequently slipping off the back porch when I was little to the scar I have on my foot from a crab biting my foot in the ocean. I can go on and on about the scars that I have and I love how they make me...me.

Stephanie: I have only one dimple, on the right side of my smile. The OCD part of my brain used to be annoyed that I didn't have matching dimples, but I've grown to love my asymmetrical grin. I think it makes me look clever and dashing.

Chickbug: My hair (with highlights, of course) is the perfect thickness and can easily be styled either straight or naturally curly. Ten minutes with a quick blow dry and hair straighter, I'm set for the day. Who can beat that?

Snoot757: So, I love my eyes! They are almond shape and their color can go from light brown to dark brown depending on the make-up I wear. And they are shaped exactly like my Dad's! So, if I pop in some blue contacts....they are identical to his! Kinda funny that I am the only one in the family that ended up with brown eyes and EVERYONE else got the "recessive" gene? hmmmmmmm

Erin: I now have a little pooch on my tummy. Ordinarily, this would be a source of self-loathing BUT since it is my baby getting bigger and bigger, I think it's BEAUTIFUL!!!

Thank you once again to all of the BEAUTIFUL women who continue to participate in this project.

I Need A Net

2009-12-30T15:34:00.003-05:00

Recently I've had two things that I'd considered some of my mental and emotional safety nets pulled out from under me. It's not nearly as bad as it sounds, I'm actually pretty OK with it. What does make me anxious though is what seems to be the loss of one of my most sacred safety nets; this blog.

I admit that I made mistakes when starting this blog. I should've kept it quite and totally anonymous, but I didn't. I quickly regretted it, but had faith that certain people would acknowledge that it's inappropriate for them to read my blog. I have no idea why I had that much faith in people, but I did and I was proven wrong.

You know who shouldn't be reading my blog:

Members of my family, with the exception of my cousin M, have no business reading this blog!

People I went to high school with who somehow found this blog and, while I haven't really spoken to them in over ten years, still find it necessary to check up on me.

Former friends who I may have at one time been close to, but who have barely bothered to acknowledge my existence for the past year.

Really, does it seem to you like those people should be reading this blog?

Over the past few months, I've wanted to write so many posts that I quickly realized I didn't want those people to see and so they were never written. This is my blog, my safe space. That is not fair!

I've considered staring a new blog and realize that at some point I'll probably cave and have to do that. What frustrates me most about that is probably having to figure out a new URL. I love that I was able to buy onelittlefish.com, it's the title of my blog, a title that's important to me, and it's short and easily remembered. I haven't thought of a URL name yet that I like and that is available so for now I continue to censor myself.

Wouldn't it be nice if I could just trust people....

Because Every Good Thought Helps

2009-12-28T14:57:00.006-05:00

You all know how I feel about positive energy so please read this post from Brandy and send your good thoughts and prayers her way:

My name is brandy. And I have a blog.

And a plea.

I use my blog to showcase the crazy I meet everyday, share the stories of the kids I teach and document my love for tequila, dairy products and the abdominal muscles of Ryan Reynolds. Rarely do I talk about personal issues on my blog- as personal as the dude that I adore (who I actually met through my blog- single ladies, let that be a very good reason to blog, the possibility of meeting someone as wonderful as my man), but I need your help. And it involves my dude.

He's a guy who made math comics for my class, so they would love learning about addition. He's the kinda guy who sends my friends gift cards when they are having hard times, who remembers every story I ever told him, who was the first person I celebrated with when I got a teaching job. He's the guy who sent flowers to me at school- dozens of my favourite pink roses just because he loves me. He's a guy who has spent a year patiently explaining (and re-explaining) everything there is to know about football during the important games when silence is preferred. He's made me word puzzles and comics and stayed up late playing Scrabble with me (even though I beat him almost every time). He's listened to me cry about school and family and jobs. He is everything I never knew I needed and everything I always knew I wanted.

The holidays have hit us hard. He's recently been told he may have something called multiple myeloma- an incurable cancer, that gives a person an average of five years of continued life. Though this news has came as a shock, he continues to be exactly who has always been- spending his time worrying about me, rather than worrying about himself. He's the most selfless individual I know- (he stayed late on Christmas Eve to work, so his co-workers could leave early) and a post like this would never be something that he would promote or encourage but when I'm overwhelmed and feeling helpless, the blogging community has always given me tremendous support and comfort, two things I desperately need at this time.

As I write this, the future is uncertain and we aren't sure what's happening. He'll need to see an oncologist soon, to verify what's going on in his body. My hope is that everyone who reads this think positive thoughts and if you are a person who prays, could you add him to your list? (You can refer to him as 'brandy's hot awesome dude'). If you don't pray, please keep him in your heart.This cancer is only a possibility and I believe that the prayers and positive thoughts of people can make sure it never becomes a reality.

I want to give a big thank you to the blog owner who scraped their original blog plans and graciously put this up. My goal is to get as many people as possible to see and read this post. If you are reading this and want to help, copy and paste my plea into your blog or send a link through twitter, so more people can keep him in their thoughts. I would be so very grateful (even more grateful than I am to my friend who first showed me the picture of Ryan Reynolds on the cover of Entertainment Weekly. If you haven't seen it, google it. You. Are. Welcome).

I realize this all sounds dramatic, a Lifetime movie in the making- but this is life. Right now. And I'm throwing away any hint of ego and am humbly asking for you to pray or think kind thoughts. If you are able to pass this on, thank you and if you know anything regarding MM- please email me (my email is on my blog). This isn't a call for sympathy or a plea for pity. It's just one girl hoping you can think positive thoughts for the person she adores. If my current heartache provides you with anything, let it be with the reminder that life is short, love is unbending and no one knows what could happen next. Maybe it is silly, but I really do believe that positive thoughts can make a huge difference. Thank you for reading this and if you haven't already? Please tell someone you love them today.

I did.

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TODAY'S GIVING OPPORTUNITY

In honor of Brandy, today I'm going to ask you to give something other than money or time; I'm going to ask that you give your positive energy. Take a couple of moments out of your busy day and think good thoughts for Brandy's man, for people in your own life, for the soldiers overseas or for people in your community who are having troubles of there own. Just take some time to put good energy out there in the universe!

I Wanna Know, I Don't Wanna Know

2009-12-21T09:19:00.004-05:00

NOTE: Let's just pretend that the topic of this post was inspired by someone I know in real life and not by something that's going on on General Hospital because it would be too embarrassing to admit publicly that GH can inspire deep thoughts in me.

I have zero tolerance for cheating. I've never cheated on anyone and I think I'd have a hard time forgiving someone who cheated on me, but, for this post, suspend reality and put yourself in a, "what if," frame of mind.

Here's the scenario; you are in a long term committed relationship with your boyfriend/fiance/husband (b/f/h). Your b/f/h is incredibly thoughtful, loving and kind and you have every intention of spending the rest of your life with him. One night though, you mess up. You mess up big.

One night you meet a mysterious stranger and you have a one night stand with him. It was a terribly stupid thing to do and perhaps you did it in an effort to self-sabotage or perhaps you can blame it on the a-a-a-a-alcohol*, but either way the deed was done. You feel horrible, probably worse than you've ever felt in your life, and swear that you will never cheat again.

Now, do you tell b/f/h? The stranger has long gone and you haven't told anyone else so there is no chance of your b/f/h finding out on his own. The only way for him to find out is from you. So, is the right thing to do to tell him because honesty is always the best policy and pray that he forgives you? Or, knowing that this will never happen again, do you keep the secret, though the guilt may eat you up inside, and assure that you will have a future with b/f/h?

I think that I would probably admit my indiscretion to my b/f/h because I couldn't handle the guilt, but is that the right thing to do? Would getting it off my chest to clear my own conscience be selfish since my b/f/h would know be in pain simply because I couldn't live with the guilt?

I'm not sure there is a right answer to this, but I'd love to hear what you think.

*Anyone who knows me in real life had better be exceedingly impressed that I've actually heard of that stupid Jamie Fox song.
Todays title comes from the background lyrics on Amy Hit the Atmosphere by Counting Crows.

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TODAY'S GIVING OPPORTUNITY

I'm sure that many of you have attended holiday parties and are looking forward to New Year's Eve festivities and are planning on wearing a special dress. I'm also sure that if many of us look in our closets will find a few dresses from holidays past that haven't been worn in a long time or old formal dresses, bridesmaids dresses, etc. So, what do we do with them? Donate them, of course. To find out where to donate your dresses click here.

You don't have formal dresses, but you have suits and business wear; great! Donate them to Dress For Success.

Paper or Plastic

2009-12-18T11:04:00.004-05:00

I was talking with a friend today about plastic surgery. Neither of us are getting any, so we were only discussing it in the abstract, but I was wondering how others felt about the subject so I decided to blog about it.

I am a big fan of plastic surgery. I've never had any because I can't afford it, but if I could I would.

I think plastic surgery gets a really bad rap. Why is it that we are praised for fixing flaws in our personality, yet chastised for fixing flaws in our appearance? For example, let's say there is someone who has major control issues. Her parents would tell you that she's had these issues her whole life; that even as a child she had to control every situation. So, in adulthood this woman sets out to fix this flaw. She does whatever works for her, therapy, self-help books, meditation, whatever. She makes a significant and lasting change for the better and everyone says, "Wow, how great, she identified what was wrong with her and did something to fix it!"

Now think of someone who was born with an absolutely terrible nose and has endured taunts her whole life. When she becomes an adult she decides to have a nose job to fix this problem in her appearance. Likely, a lot of people will say, "I can't believe she got surgery. She should have embraced her nose as it made her who she is and just learned to love herself."

So fixing a personality flaw, is a good thing, but fixing a physical flaw that you had no way of controlling is wrong? That logic leaves me confused.

What do you think? Would you get plastic surgery? What would you get?

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TODAY'S GIVING OPPORTUNITY

For all of you animal lovers out there, today I'm highlighting the ASPCA. It often seems like these days the ASPCA is looked over for some of the louder more militant animal organization, but, as far as I'm concerned, the ASPCA is one of the finest.

The Good, The Bad and The Birthday

2009-12-16T15:00:00.007-05:00

I don't usually bore you guys with the details of my every day life, but yesterday, the 15th, was my birthday so I thought I'd fill you in on the good and bad of the day.

The good:

I was having a good hair day!

I got text messages, phone calls and facebook messages all day!

I love my coworkers, but we hate all three of our bosses. Yesterday all three bosses were out of the office (which actually qualifies as great) so my coworkers and I planned a potluck holiday luncheon which was so fun and they all sang me happy birthday! I gorged myself on the latkes I brought in and then finished them with two, that's right two, lemon cupcakes. I am not a huge dessert person and I am really not at all a cupcake fan, they literally never appeal to me, but these homemade lemon cupcakes were unreal. They were not too sweet and light as air. Also, because they were homemade, I knew exactly what went into them and didn't have to abstain because of my food allergies!

Late in the afternoon I changed my facebook status to the obligatory, "...thanks everyone for the birthday wishes," but also jokingly added, "I especially like that I got wishes in Hebrew and Danish. Any more languages you guys would like to wish me happy birthday in?" I was totally kidding, but people totally responded and I got birthday wishes in Spanish, French, Italian, Hawaiian and Welsh!

After work I went home where some birthday cards awaited me in my mailbox as well as a gorgeous brooch from BFF that is so so so Little Fish!

I freshened up and then went to meet Polly at my favorite tea house. It can get really crowded, but last night we only had to wait five minutes for a table and then spent the next two hours talking and laughing over tea!

It was a fairly mild night so after tea I took a short walk around my neighborhood to take in some of the beautiful holiday decorations and gabbed on the phone with more friends offering birthday wishes.

I decided I could eat whatever I wanted for dinner so I ate chips and salsa and cheese and crackers, but I mean A LOT of chips, salsa, cheese and crackers!

The Bad:

After having eaten a massive amount of latkes and two lemon cupcakes for lunch and then eating more chips, salsa, cheese and crackers than should ever be consumed by a human being for dinner, I was mildly nauseous.

Well, that's the wrap up. Does it sound like I had a good day to you? I did!

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TODAY'S GIVING OPPORTUNITY

Every child deserves to live to see many happy birthdays yet to come so consider donating to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital or shop at stores that are part of there Thanks and Giving campaign.

They Tried To Kill Us, We Survived, Let's Eat

2009-12-11T12:37:00.006-05:00

Curious about the title of this post? It's an old joke among Jews used to describe most Jewish holidays. As I'm sure you're aware, my people haven't always had the easiest time in this world, but we're still here and I'm damn proud of it!

One of the defining characteristics of Jewish culture is eating. A lot! If you are Italian, Middle Eastern or Latin you will likely relate. Jews use food to show love and we use food to celebrate; even during times of tragedy we serve an unreal amount of food. If we are having a dinner for four, we make sure to have enough food for ten because there is nothing worse then not having enough food.

Tonight is the first night of Chanukah. While marketers are attempting to commercialize the holiday to make more money, Chanukah is actually a very minor Jewish holiday and really more for kids. I would never miss a Rosh Hashanah or Passover with my family, but I would never even think of making a big deal about seeing them on Chanukah. What I will do for Chanukah is this; I will light a candle in the menorah for the next eight nights and I will eat delicious latkes (fried potato pancakes)!!

What's that you say; you'd like to eat some latkes too! Well then, here you go:

Latke Recipe

2 eggs

2 medium onions

10-12 medium potatoes cut in to chunks

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon pepper

2 cups crushed cornflakes

Oil for frying

Place in blender 1 egg, 1 onion quartered and 5-6 of the potatoes. Blend. Pour mixture into large bowl. Repeat with remaining egg, onion and potatoes. Add salt pepper and cornflakes and mix in to potato mixture. Heat oil in large frying pan. Drop mixture by large tablespoons into hot oil, flatten with back of spoon. Turn when bottom is browned. Drain on paper towels. Serve with sour cream on the side. (Traditionally latkes are also served with applesauce on the side, but as I am severely allergic to apples I skip that.)

Happy Chanukah!

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TODAY'S GIVING OPPORTUNITY

Looking for a cool gift for someone this holiday season? Visit Macy's Shop For A Better World, which benefits artisans in recovering countries, for some beautiful and unique. How about these great beauty products from Sephora that benefit various charities or great items for Gap that benefit Project (Red)? For an animal or nature lover with a sweet tooth, check out these candy baskets from Good Karmal!

There are so many products at this time of year that give some of the proceeds to charity, so why not give one? A cool product and spreading some love to others in need is like two gifts for the price of one!

Knowing When To Give Up

2009-12-09T12:27:00.023-05:00

Just over a year ago I wrote a letter to my great love, John Cusack. After so many years of love and admiration for him, I was sick of waiting around and ready for him to propose so I posted the letter and waited... and waited... and waited. And, well... have you received your save the date card yet? No!

I'm sure that you're all as shocked as I am, but John didn't come through! I really thought that he was one of the good one's, but now I see that it's time for me to move on to someone else. Of course I can't just abandon my love for John after so many years of devotion, but I feel that it's time for him to be knocked down to my number 2 spot, clearing the way for my furture husband James Franco to be firmly in the number 1 spot!

I know James is going to be thrilled to find out; he's done a lot in the last couple of years to get my attention. James started attending classes at Columbia University which is pretty much right next door to my office building. Recently, as part of a documentary experiment, James signed up to do a two month guest stint on a daytime soap opera. He could've chosen to be on any soap opera, but decided on General Hospital, the only soap opera I watch. Lastly, James is Jewish, so we will have no issues about raising the stunningly beautiful children we'll produce together.

Finally, just so all famous actors or agents reading this are clear on who to introduce me to first, here are my lists:

The men I'd like to marry
1. James Franco
2. John Cusack
3. Ron Livingston

The men I'd like to have ~~crazy, meaningless, wild sex~~ a fling with
1. Colin Farrell
2. Jonathan Rhys Meyers

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TODAY'S GIVING OPPORTUNITY

As I've mentioned before, I love giving charity gifts from organizations like OxFam and UNICEF. This year I have a new favorite to add to the list, GlobalGiving. According to their website; "GlobalGiving is an online marketplace that connects you to the causes and countries you care about. You select the projects you want to support, make a tax-deductible contribution, and get regular progress updates - so you can see your impact."

The best part is that next to every single project there is a button that says, "give as a gift in honor/in memory of someone," so it's easy find a project that will be of particular interest to your recipient or you can just get them a GlobalGiving gift card and they can choose for themselves.

What It Feels Like For A Girl

2009-12-07T11:02:00.011-05:00

A couple of weeks ago a group of people, including myself, got together to celebrate my friend London's birthday. At some point during the evening I was sitting by the bar talking to a woman, A, when a guy that I know came in. I introduced him to A and we all started to chat.

At some point during the conversation this guy started telling us how a theory he has about women. He theorizes that women don't actually have real friendships, their friends, he says, are really more like accomplices. "Huh?," I confusedly replied, "My female friends are the best, we have very strong friendships. They're always there for me."

He went on to explain that women weren't really friends with each other because, he believes, they are in constant competition with each other. I laughed and told him that he must be watching too much TV. "No, no," he said, "women are always angry because one of their friends has something they want. Like a group of girls go out together and the others are all pissed because one of them has better shoes then the others."

I laughed hysterically and replied, "Now I know that you've been watching too much TV. That stuff only goes on in the media. Girl friends are generally amazingly supportive. I'm thrilled when good things happen for my friends and they're always thrilled for me. I think that's true for most girl friends over the age of 15." Then I glanced at A and gave her an, "Am I right or am I right, solidarity sister," look and waited for here to agree.

"Well," she said, "I definitely have real friendships with my girl friends, but you're right, we're always competing with each other. Women definitely compete with each other."

I was shocked. A is a super sweet girl and I can't imagine her being surrounded by catty women. I continued to emphatically disagree, but was still surprised that A hadn't!

Am I naive? Do most girl friends compete? Am I just lucky? I really don't think I am, but I'd love to hear what you think.

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TODAY'S GIVING OPPORTUNITY

I talked about this website a lot last year, but it's been one of my favorites for years. We all want to spread some joy for children at this season, but if you don't have kids to buy for, or like me you don't even celebrate Christmas, do you really want to have to go in to a toy store at this time of year? Instead visit www.amazon.com/today and purchase a toy there. After you pick out and pay for your toy, the toy will be shipped directly to the organizations that distribute them to children. How great is that? You get to provide a gift for a child without ever getting off of your couch. A good deed that I can do in my pyjamas; I love it!!

Happy 101

2009-12-04T14:05:00.006-05:00

The fabulous Lisa of Lisa's Yarns bestowed upon me this lovely award.

The rules of this award:
List 10 things that make you happy.
Try and do at least one of them today.
Tag bloggers that brighten your day.
Link back to the person that tagged you.

1. Hot, steamy showers
2. New York City at holiday time; the tree, the decorations, the heavenly smell from the Christmas trees being sold on street corners, the menorahs in the apartment windows, the energy in the air.
3. Cooking
4. The smell of clean laundry
5. Broadway musicals
6. My mom
7. Starbucks peppermint hot chocolate (tall, skim, no whip, extra hot)
8. Being in Copenhagen
9. Cuddling with my Grandma
10. A good nights sleep

As for tagging some awesome bloggers, here you go: Katie at Scattered Starlight, Rebecca at Adventures in China, Auburn Kat, Hazelnut (who really needs to write more) and Kylie at My Saucerful of Secrets

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TODAY'S GIVING OPPORTUNITY

Today I'd like to bring your attention to the Spartan Sparkles, a special needs cheerleading squad who I first learned about on an episode of Oprah. The program was strated by the captain of the cheer squad at an Iowa high school, who was inspired by her experience with the Special Olympics. Ten girls from ages 8-15 with various special needs now train and perform with the high school cheerleading squad.

Here's what the captain's have to say:

Hi, we’re Sarah Cronk and Sarah Herr, varsity cheerleaders at Pleasant Valley High School in Bettendorf, Iowa, and the co-Presidents of the Sparkle Effect, Inc. This year, we experienced a string of small miracles and large transformations in our Iowa town after we formed our own cheerleading squad that includes children with special needs. Ten girls with special needs – from autism to Down Syndrome – now radiate joy and confidence as part of our new “Spartan Sparkles” cheerleading squad.

Isn't that awesome?!?! The program has been so successful that the girls are trying to bring it to other high schools around the country. To learn more or to donate click here.

If you haven't seen the video yet, grab a kleenex and then click here.

Welcome To My World

2009-12-03T12:53:00.002-05:00

I have an ambition that I've never blogged about before. One day I am planning a global takeover that will make me Queen of the World! I have many plans as queen, from free health care for all to passing a law in which LL Cool J is never allowed to wear a shirt (because really, isn't everyone happier when they get to stare at his abs). One major part of my platform as queen is creating what I call, the Rude Police.

I cannot stand rudeness! It is the thing that makes my blood boil like nothing else!

Last week, two days before Thanksgiving, I needed something from the market. Now this is a market that always crazy busy and it was two days before a major food holiday so I anticipated huge crowds. The item I needed wasn't critical, so if things looked really bad I was fine with just continuing home, but, when I got there, much to my surprise and delight it wasn't that bad. I grabbed a basket and ended up putting three small items in it. When I got to the checkout long is was fairly long. Still it wasn't as long as I had feared and every cash register was open so the line was moving quickly.

The women behind me, who was only holding only a bottle of iced tea, immediately started sighing and muttering though she had probably been there all of 15 seconds. Then, suddenly, she jumped off of the line an walked up to the nearest cashier who had literally just finished with one customer and was calling over another. The woman threw down a few dollar bills and said, "I'm taking this." The cashier was stunned, but recovered enough to say, "I have to scan it." The women replied, "I'm not waiting in line."

OK at this point, if I were the cashier, I would've told the woman that she needed to wait in line and that if she tried to leave with the item, whether she was throwing down money or not, I would call security. The cashier didn't do that; she scanned the item through and let the woman start walking out with it. I was so angry that I looked at the woman and said, "That was the rudest thing I have ever seen." She gave me a nasty look and loudly said, "I had one item." Of course I replied, "I only have three, but didn't cut an entire line of people." She yelled, "I hope you're very happy with your conscience," and stormed out.

For the record I am very happy with my conscience, but, in that moment, I thought, "Where are the Rude Police when I need them?" Then I remembered; I am not yet Queen of the World so the Rude Police do not yet exist. It's too bad because, under my administration, that women would've been arrested on the spot and sentenced to much jail time until she could prove that she had learned common courtesy!

In my world people will be taught to say their pleases and thank yous and... well... I'll just let you guys imagine the punishment for not giving up your seat on a bus or a train to an elderly, handicapped or pregnant person.

Your Future Queen,
Little Fish

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TODAY'S GIVING OPPORTUNITY

Today's giving opportunity is all about human kindness. The Huntsman Cancer Foundation in Utah was suggested to me by Rebecca from Adventures in China who, sadly lost her father to Cancer. In her words, "They built a hospital that is family oriented, and feels more like a hotel and less like a clinical hospital. People who have experienced long-term treatment know how family unfriendly regular hospitals can be. They are a wonderful organization."

Judging by her words and the organizations website, the Huntsman Cancer Foundation is a really special place so check it out and consider supporting them.

Thanks Rebecca, I have no doubt that your father is very proud of you!

Beauty School: Part IV

2009-12-02T09:20:00.004-05:00

Believe it or not it's already December and the holidays are right around the corner! If I had any graphic design abilities (or software), I would've put a Santa hat on our Beauty School pinup girl and a menorah on her desk! Instead, grab a candy cane while enjoying this months edition of the Beauty School Project.

Lisa: I love my eyes. They are dark brown and very expressive. I've been told that my eyes make me very readable - you can tell when I am happy, sad, mad, frustrated, etc. So in my case the eyes really are the window to my soul.

Jen: I always used to be very heavy and when I lost the weight, I realized I have bones. I like my bones, I like being able to see my collar bone and the bones in my wrists. I will never forget the day I was at work, and for some reason I was scratching my neck and I felt my collar bone, I had to ask my coworker what exactly it was that I felt. Now they are probably one of my favorite features.

Kylie: I love my hazel eyes. Depending on the color of the shirt I'm wearing they can be more green or more blue. When I'm mad or upset they turn into more of a gray color. I love that they are always changing colors naturally.

Stephanie: I have finally accepted, and learned to love my very pale skin. I've decided it makes me look like Nicole Kidman. Only without any Botox.

Erin: Well, this might sound weird, but I think my fingers are a good width :-) They're not chubby and they're not skinny and witch-like...plus, now that I'm older, they look like my mom's hands - which I love, because her hands brought me so much comfort as a child!

Nora: My eyes as they are round and beautiful, accented with lovely eyelashes. Nicknamed "Cinnamon eyes," by my family I've found that I can easily convey my feelings with my eyes. I suppose they truly are the window to my soul as most people know instantly what I'm feeling when they look into them.

Megan: My Irish heritage blesses me with freckles. Lots and lots of freckles. I'm in the sun for 10 minutes and they start popping out. I love it!

Snoot757: I love my small feet. I am able to wear any kind of shoes and never worry that I have "clown feet". This comes in handy when I look back over the years. Being the shoe fiend that I am, I have indulged in some crazy styles! I don't think a size 10 would have had that luxury:)

Auburn Kat: My butt. For whatever reason, I always get compliments for my butt...oh wait I know why I get compliments because I have an awesome butt!

Katie: I have amazing eyebrows. They have a perfect arch and barely need any plucking. Lucky me!

Mandy: I love the scar on the top of my left wrist, it's about an inch long and not very wide. I know it sounds funny to love a scar, but it reminds me of both my inner and outer strength.

Little Fish (that's me): I have really nice lips. They are not too thin, are evenly sized, smooth and a nice natural medium pink shade and shaped like a perfect kiss mark.

Thank you once again to all of the BEAUTIFUL women who continue to participate in this project.

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TODAY'S GIVING OPPORTUNITY

In light of President Obama's speech last night, today I am focusing on the troops. Whether you agree or disagree with the President's decision, I know we can all agree that the troops deserve our support so here are a few great organizations; express your gratitude by sending cards at Let's Say Thanks (thanks Polly for this one), donate your old cell phone to Cell Phones For Soldiers, or make a donation to Puppies Behind Bars, a program that uses prison inmates to train service dogs for veterans of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Also, don't forget to pray if you pray, or just send good thoughts if you don't, for all or the troops, their families and the civilians in Iraq and Afghanistan, let's hope they stay safe and can be with their families soon.

My Junk Is You

2009-11-30T10:29:00.002-05:00

The other day I was watching Celebrity Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew and I thought, "I could never be on this show."

There are three major reasons that I couldn't be on Celebrity Sex Rehab and the first two are pretty obvious; first, I'm not a celebrity and second, I'm not a sex addict. The third reason though is because I could never be in a program designed to help me control my sexual impulses while staring at the object of some of these impulses, Dr. Drew. I love love love Dr. Drew! He is so sexy; a true silver fox if there ever was one!

So who's your... how should I say it... slightly odd celebrity crush?
[BFF, feel free to leave a comment and let everyone know about your long standing crush on a certain red headed late night talk show host.]

Today's title is reference to a song from one of my all time favorite Broadway musicals, Spring Awakening, which starred Glee's Lea Michele. Yup, I got to see her on Broadway; twice!

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TODAY'S GIVING OPPORTUNITY

Because we know that girls with healthy self-esteem become women who make better decisions about sex and sexuality (and because there is much more we can do for the world than just give money), I'm highlighting an old favorite that you've heard me mention before, the Dove Self Esteem Fund. You can give money to one of their partner organizations or you can enter a upc from a Dove product and they'll donate $1 to self esteem programs or you can use their tips and tools to help young women and girls in your life! There are so many ways to help women feel better about themselves!

Call Me Martha

2009-11-27T13:15:00.004-05:00

I'm going to make what may seem to you like a very bold statement; I make the worlds greatest homemade cranberry sauce! I know I sound very sure of myself, but pretty much everyone who has ever tried my cranberry sauce has told me that it's the best they've ever had. In fact the best cooking compliment I've ever received was from my friend Cosmo who, after going back for seconds, said, "I have never liked cranberry sauce before. My aunt took cooking classes at Le Cordon Bleu in France, she's the best cook I know. Last year for thanksgiving she made cranberry sauce and I even hated hers, but this is amazing."

So here is my holiday gift for all of you:

Little Fish's Famous Cranberry Sauce

1 3/4 cups water
2 cups sugar
2-3 cinnamon sticks
2 12 oz bags cranberries
1/4 cup Grand Marnier
zest of 2 large oranges
Supremes of 2 large oranges roughly chopped
Large pinch of salt

In large sauce pan bring water, sugar and cinnamon sticks to boil. Add cranberries, Grand Marnier*, zest, supremes and salt. Lower heat and allow to boil gently until cranberries have popped open and sauce has thickened, about 12-15 minutes. Cool in pot for a few minutes; when cool enough to handle fish out cinnamon sticks and transfer to container. Cover tightly and refrigerate for several hours (preferably over night).

I know it sounds really simple, but trust me it's really delicous!

*Note: If you cook on a gas stove like I do, always be very careful when adding alcohol near an open flame since it is highly flammable. I suggest turning the burner off for a quick second while you dump in the Grand Marnier and then turning right back on once it's safely in the pot.

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TODAY'S GIVING OPPORTUNITY

I'm a big fan of culinary programs for at risk youth because they work! There are several programs like this around the country, but I've chosen to highlight Cafe Reconcile in New Orleans, LA. This past summer I was in NOLA for the business trip from hell. Unfortunately, I didn't get to see much of it, but what I did see I fell in love with! The amazing spirit of the city is infectious and makes what New Orleans residents have endured since Katrina seem even more devastating. Consider donating to Cafe Reconcile or, if you're going to be in NOLA, have dinner there and support this wonderful place!

Giving Thanks

2009-11-25T09:19:00.004-05:00

Is everyone out there as excited for Thanksgiving as I am?

In honor of Thanksgiving (and because you've all been so kind in indulging my recent bad moods), here is a list of some things that I'm thankful for:

My health and the health of those I love.
My family. They're crazy, but they love me.
My mom who is the best mom in the whole world!
My female friends who are always there to cry with or to be silly with; to dance with or to dine with.
My male friends who always cut right to the heart of the matter and tell me just what I need to hear.
BFF who is the bestest best friend a girl could ask for.
My cousin who, as my only young female relative, is the closest thing to a sister that I have.
This awesome community of bloggers that I am privileged to be a part of.
Having been blessed to have had been to amazing places and met so many interesting people in my lifetime.
Currently living in my favorite city in the world.

Those are just a few of the things that I'm thankful to have in my life. It goes without saying that I am thankful to have a warm bed to sleep in every night and plenty of food to eat. My family will have an abundance of food on our Thanksgiving table and many leftovers afterwards which makes me giddy with delight, but also more aware that not everyone is so fortunate. Last year, in honor of Thanksgiving, I donated to Share Our Strength and I'll be doing the same this year because the one thing we still had room for on our table was good karma. There is always room for more of that.

Have a very happy Thanksgiving.

What I Like About You

2009-11-23T11:54:00.007-05:00

Thanks to everyone for indulging me in whiney week last week, but, as promised, I am not allowing myself to whine this week.

Saturday night I attended a birthday party for my friend London. As the party wound down a few of us remained chatting, when someone posed this question, "What's the best compliment you've ever been given?"

After he clarified that the compliment could be about your looks or personality, we all took a minute to think. It was a really great and thought provoking question. Here's what I came up with. I don't know if it's the best I've ever received, but it's the first that came to mind and certainly qualifies as one of the best.

My friend BeBe is currently attending a multi-denominational seminary to obtain her Masters degree in Interfaith Studies. She is an active and practicing Catholic who has memorized Vatican II and regularly quotes obscure bits of cannonical text. Like so many in this area of the country, I would call her a liberal Catholic. She is working with others to bring what she sees as much needed change to the church. Of course, change does not come easily.

A few months ago she IMed me in frustration. She'd just found out that her advisor, a man she admired, was in jeopardy of being excommunicated from the church due to his views on the ordination of woman and priests being able to marry. In her rage, she swore that she needed to find a new religion. After calming and reassuring her and her faith, she agreed that she was just speaking out of annoyance and it just seemed like things would never change. I told her that I understood, but that she just had to remember that change takes time and that there were plenty of young Catholics like her that would continue to fight for change.

"You're right," BeBe said, "Thank you, that's why I came to you. Most people would've just said, 'just don't be a Catholic anymore,' but I knew that you'd understand."

I can't quite tell you why those words meant so much to me, but they did.

OK your turn; tell me about one of the best compliments you've ever received.

The holidays are fast approaching. Do you have a worthy cause you'd like me to highlight during the holiday season? Remember, You Do What You Can.

It's My Blog and I'll Whine If I Want To

2009-11-19T11:24:00.005-05:00

First of all, YOU GUYS ROCK. I really and truly was only venting when I wrote my last post and was not expecting all of your kind words. I'm truly blessed to have such wonderful friends, both in my everyday laugh and in blog world.

I wish that I could tell you that I'm in a better mood, but I'd be lying if I said that. So, you will have to indulge me in another incredibly whiney, self-pitying, "oh poor me" post. On the upside, I have declared this "Whiney Week," which means that you have to suffer through me whining this week, but next week there is an official ban on Little Fishing whining. (Aren't you glad it's already Thursday).

OK, now that that's out of the way, let the whining begin...

Has anyone ever said that you look like a celebrity? Were you flattered? I've been told a bunch of times that I look like various celebrities. What's the problem, you ask? They are all really, really unattractive celebrities. Apparently the people who have told me these things have never heard, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

Here's the list:

Kirstie Alley. Yea, that's right, the actress who is constantly ridiculed for the way she looks and is the butt of late night jokes. When I point this out the rebuttal is, "I mean back when she was pretty." Ummm... when was that... I must've missed that.

Lea Michele. If you watched Glee last night you know that her character was referred to as, "mildly attractive." Awesome.

Lake Bell. I believe this is what kids today refer to as, "fugly."

Now you're probably thinking that it can't get any worse, right? Wrong! I saved the best... err... worst for last. Take a deep breathe.

Laura San Giacomo. You remember the frizzy haired girl with the gap in her teeth who utters the, "Cinder-fuckin-rella" line in Pretty Woman? Yea, that's her. This is a good picture of her because the others were just too painful.

So, as you can see, these celebrity look alikes have done wonders for my self-esteem. In the interest of fairness I should tell you that I don't think I look like any of these people (thank God). I have also been told by two friends that I look like the stunning Amanda Peet and by two coworkers that I look like the adorable Sandra Bullock. I know that I don't look like Amanda or Sandra and I know that those people were only saying it to be nice, but their intentions were good so I will take those as compliments.

OK that's it for the week, I promise. Next week begins no whining/feeling sorry for myself week!

Does anyone ever tell you that you look like a celeb? Which one? Do you take it as a compliment?

The holidays are fast approaching. Do you have a worthy cause you'd like me to highlight during the holiday season? Remember, You Do What You Can.

Gone Fishin'

2009-11-17T11:33:00.010-05:00

This post probably makes me sound like a whiney, obnoxious brat, but I don't care.

I'm having one of those ~~days~~ ~~weeks~~ months where nothing seems to be going my way and mean, ill-intentioned people seem to keep finding me. As you can imagine this hasn't left me feeling so great about things... about myself. Right now I could really use a compliment; OK many compliments; OK I could use as many compliments as one person can hear.

I had tea with my friend Soprano on Sunday and she said something really sweet about me. I admit it helper, but God knows that I could use more. I promise you that I'm not fishing for compliments here. That would be pretty ridiculous considering that most of you don't actually no me.

In my real, non-blog, life fishing for compliments would also be silly because it doesn't feel genuine if you had to ask for it, but damn I could use some positive feedback right now...

Do you have a worthy cause you'd like me to highlight during the holiday season? Remember, You Do What You Can.

Numbers Game

2009-11-13T09:45:00.005-05:00

Last night, as I walked out of my building, I struck up a conversation with one of my neighbors, an Australian woman who looked to be in her mid-30's. She started telling me about an article she had read on how Americans date versus people in other countries.

What she wondered most was the concept of dating multiple people at once. In Australia, she said, and in Western Europe, I'll add from my own experiences, it's totally fine to have casual sex if that's your desire, but if you're dating someone you aren't waiting for an exclusivity talk. If you meet someone you like, you don't date other people. It's as simple as that.

My neighbor had trouble understanding that an American might go out a few times with someone s/he really likes, but keep dating others assuming that one of them, hopefully the one s/he likes best, will become exclusive.

I couldn't really explain it to her because it's not something that I've ever been comfortable with myself. I pass no judgement on people who date that way and in fact I can see the logic in it. For myself though it feels strange.

Let's set up a scenario; you've gone on a couple of dates with a guy and have had a phenomenal time. You like this guy a lot and you're hoping it develops in to something. You're looking forward to seeing him again, but, in the interim between dates, some one else asks you out. Guy number two is nice and cute, what do you do?

You and guy number one have only been out a couple of times and there would be nothing wrong with you accepting a date with guy number two, but, to me, it seems unfair to guy number two. It feels disingenuous to me to go out with number two when you already know that you can't wait to see number one again. What if you do go out with number two and you have a nice time with him, but it's no where near the time you had with guy number one? Are you supposed to keep him around as a spare in case things with guy number one don't work out? That seems unfair.

I also can't help but put myself in the other persons shoes. Let's say I go out on a date with a guy and I think it went really well so I call and ask him to go out again, only to have him say, "I'm sorry, but before we went on our date I had actually gone on a couple of dates with another girl. I really liked her, but we hadn't had an exclusivity talk yet so I went out with you. Well, last night she said she we should stop seeing other people which is what I was hoping for in the first place." I'd feel really used in that situation.

What about you guys? Where is your comfort level when it comes to dating multiple people?

Do you have a worthy cause you'd like me to highlight during the holiday season? Remember, You Do What You Can.

One Profile; Two Perspectives

2009-11-11T10:53:00.009-05:00

Back by popular demand (OK in my mind it’s back by popular demand), a co-blog with friend/guest blogger Big Apple Ruth.

Since you presumably read this blog you already know some of the things that color and shape my ideas and opinion. In the interest of fairness I think I should tell you that BAR has been happily married for 2+ years to a man she met while online dating.

Recently a friend, who has been trying her hand at online dating, shared with us this snippet of a profile she found. Big Apple Ruth and I had two very different perspectives on it.

The following, which is what was shared with us, is what this man wrote about the kind of woman that he is looking for:

You are intelligent, beautiful, witty, thoughtful, elegant, cultured, sophisticated, but unpretentious. You listen as much as you speak and offer well articulated and stimulating conversation; you appreciate balance and fitness in your life and are active at the gym or outdoors; you challenge yourself in your career, set high standards and never compromise. You are open to trying or exploring new things and understand different points of view. You are always on time, dependable, and of high integrity

Aim for the stars: Big Apple Ruth's perspective

“You are not bright, unattractive, dull, inconsiderate, simple, have few interests, unsophisticated, but pretentious nonetheless. You talk and talk and never listen and only offer one-sided, boring conversation. You have no sense of balance and personal health and well being are not on your priority list. You are content with your career choice, however mundane, and settle for mediocrity. You have no desire to step out of your limited comfort zone and cannot understand why anyone would take a different approach. You are frequently late, undependable and have little or no respect for others or yourself.”

If a man wrote this ad you would run for the hills. So why, when he asks for exactly what he wants, do we fault him for being direct? My argument is not that every woman should or will fall in love with this man based on the ad he wrote, but that we respect him for putting it out there. The truth is that the words he chose may not be received by every woman the same way. In fact, some women may be turned off by some of the verbiage (in consulting for this piece someone told me she associates the word ‘beautiful’ with super-model and thought it was shallow of him to include it in his ad, I personally associate the word ‘beautiful’ with spirit and appreciated its use in sequence with other character descriptions). At the end of the day, some woman, somewhere, is going to read those words, associate them with herself, get in touch with him and be a perfect fit. Just like we all favor different looks, different builds, different qualities, we all favor different words. It’s a brutal dating world out there – hello? we are critiquing this guy’s whole character in a public forum based solely on some words he probably typed up before happy hour or after the gym – let’s give him some credit for trying!

If you want perfection, get an android: Little Fish's perspective

If I saw this ad I would never ever respond to it. I literally don’t even know where to begin to explain the things that I find overwhelming about this so let’s start with the use of the word beautiful.

I find the use of the word beautiful incredibly intimidating. It goes without saying that we all want to find someone that we are physically attracted to so, why use the word beautiful? When I see the word beautiful I make the assumption that this guy is looking for a supermodel type. Of course that may not be the case. My appearance may be exactly what this guy finds beautiful, but since I haven’t met him in person, I have no way of knowing this so I assume that he means the traditional idea of beauty and won’t accept anything less than Gisele Bundchen or Halle Berry.

I’m also confused by this man’s desire that a woman should know that she is intelligent, beautiful, witty, thoughtful, elegant, cultured, sophisticated and of high integrity yet should still remain unpretentious. While I think it’s important that we all have things that we like about ourselves, I find it very hard to believe that a woman could look at herself and think, “I am intelligent, beautiful, witty, thoughtful, elegant, cultured, sophisticated, and of high integrity” and not be pretentious. Not to mention the fact that what seems witty and sophisticated to one person may seem trivial and banal to another.

Of course it’s not enough that this woman has to have all of these incredible attributes, she also has to always be on time!! So, this woman he's looking for has to basically be perfect. Making people wait an hour for you all the time is beyond rude, but being ten minutes late here and there seems like a forgivable quality in a woman who is, intelligent, beautiful, witty, thoughtful, elegant, cultured, sophisticated, of high integrity and unpretentious.

In an online job advertisement, the employer gets to write a laundry list of things that he is looking for, but online dating profiles work just the opposite. It seems to me that an online dating profile should be more like your resume; you should be selling yourself. This guy might be the nicest guy in the whole world and he may be looking for a woman just like me, but I’d never find that out because I would never write to him.

Do you have a worthy cause you'd like me to highlight during the holiday season? Remember, You Do What You Can.

Who Are You?

2009-11-09T11:30:00.003-05:00

Recently I heard a story through the grapevine. The story went like this; a happily engaged women who was just a few months away from her wedding, received a call from her fiancee telling her that he'd met a woman on his recent business trip and was leaving her to be with this new woman. It's a horrible story, I know, but we've all heard stories like this before whether from friends, friends of friends, or played out in Hollywood by famous couples.

I think it goes without saying that we all think that these guys are scum, right? Since that's a given, here is my questions for you; who are these "other" women?

Clearly there are women in this world who hear, "I'm engaged to/married to/dating someone, but I don't really love her. I love you and want to be with you," and they go for it. If I heard a man say that I would run for the hills. Well OK, I'd probably tell him exactly what I thought of him and then run for the hills. I would never, in a million years, start a relationship on those terms. How could you ever trust someone who was willing to do that to someone else. What would make you think that he wouldn't do the same to you?

If someone is trapped in a bad relationship then they absolutely get out of it. Mature people do that on their own though. Cowards cheat and hurt and make promises they don't intend to keep. Why would any woman want that person in their lives?

Of course I also have to wonder if these "other" women have any belief in karma. I hope that most of us live our lives treating others as we'd want to be treated so I can't help wondering how these women could not put themselves in someone else's shoes.

I would never be the "other" woman and I don't know anyone else who would be either, but these women are out there somewhere so I'd like to know; who are you and why would you do these things?

Last year I was in a bar and struck up a conversation with two men. One of them told me that he was newly engaged, then told me how unsure he was about the marriage and asked for my number. Well, you can all imagine what I told him next. The whole rest of the night though I could not stop thinking about this poor woman sitting at home having no idea what a loser she was engaged to. I'd never met this women but my heart bled anyone in that situation.

The silver lining to all this is the knowledge that these women aren't making things tougher for good, honest, caring women because good, honest, caring women deserve great men and the men these women are getting are anything but that. Next time you hear one of these stories remind yourself how lucky you are to have avoided one of these jerks and remember that the good ones don't behave that way.

Do you have a worthy cause you'd like me to highlight during the holiday season? Remember, You Do What You Can.

Beauty School: Part III

2009-11-04T09:17:00.002-05:00

When I sent out an email reminder for Beauty School submissions, many of the participants wrote back saying, "I can't believe it's time already. Where did October go?"

I wish I had an answer for that, but all I can do is agree, October did fly by and now it's time for our third edition of the Beauty School Project. Enjoy.

Lisa: I like my collar bones. Since I have lost weight they have become more pronounced - in a healthy/good way. My neckline now looks great in a v-neck top or dress.

Jen: I think I am going to have to gush about my smile. It's not that I have straight or perfectly white teeth, It's that I have a smile that can light up a room. I love that I have different smiles, all of which indicate something different but something positive all the time. If you know me, you don't even have to ask what I think about something, just look at my smile!

Little Fish (that's me): 32DD. All natural. Enough said.

Erin: I think my hair is an awesome shade of brown - I never need to mess with it. It even has its own its own auburn highlights in the summer!

Kylie: I love my hair. I have really long hair. I never use a curling iron or blow dryer and I use no products on my hair so it stays very healthy. I do have some highlights put in usually once a year and other than that it is 100% natural.

Chickbug: I like being short (5 feet 2 inches, to be exact). I can throw on heels and be as tall as I want...but love my petite frame.

Nora: My smile: because I've been told it lights up the room and because I get two pseudo-dimples which I think are cute when I smile.

Mandy: I love the color of my skin. My heritage is a big jumbled pot of a little bit of everything from Italian, German, Native American, and some other things I can only guess. My shade is a naturally a light tan color and when I'm in the sun it becomes a rich, deep tan shade. My cheek bones don't need any blush and my face really doesn't need much makeup to enhance my natural color.

Snoot757: I love my smile! After years of braces, orthodontics, and other treatments- I now get compliments all the time! Yay:)

Auburn Kat: I love my feet. I have very small feet and wear a size 5 1/2 or size 6 shoe. When I was younger I hated the fact that my feet were so small but as I got older I realized just how much I loved them. My feet always look cute in shoes and my toes are adorable. Plus, having small feet is always a conversation starter and I can fit in to kids size shoes!

Stephanie: I like my hands. I don't think they are classically pretty, you know, with the long thing fingers, but they are very angular and interesting looking, and I like that

Katie: I love my hands. The way my fingers curve is a little unique; after studying my parents hands I knew I didn't get it from either of them. Near the end of her life, my grandma was in the hospital, and one day I decided to rub her hands to help soothe her. While massaging her hands, I noticed our fingers her fingers curved like mine did. I don't think I was ever so happy that a quirk in genetics gave me a feature. Now that she's gone, I can look at my hands and I instantly feel close to her.

Thank you once again to all of the BEAUTIFUL women who continue to participate in this project.

Do you have a worthy cause you'd like me to highlight during the holiday season? Remember, You Do What You Can.

Things That I Refuse To Feel Guilty About...

2009-11-02T12:01:00.001-05:00

Being slightly obsessed with Taylor Swift. I don't own any of her music (though I really do need to download some) and I'm way out of her target audience age, but she it just so freakin' adorable!

Eating real food! Give me real butter, real sugar, real cream over low-fat, processed food every time. It not only tastes better, it's better for you because it's natural.

Letting my phone go to voicemail because I'm busy sitting on my couch watching TV and eating (real) ice cream and I just can't be interrupted.

Speaking my mind.

Having a second drink... or maybe a third.

Complementing myself on my own cooking. I'm an awesome cook.

Going on a date with a guy just because he has a great accent. I've done it before and I'd do it again.

OK, your turn. So, what do you refuse to feel guilty about?

You Do What You Can

2009-10-30T10:32:00.002-04:00

I never talk about work on this blog and that's not going to change any time soon, but in the interest of this post I will explain a little about where I work. I work for a non-profit that deals with some of the most pressing issues facing society today, from climate change to access to food and water for all to human trafficking and beyond. If it's confusing to you that one organization could have so many issues I will explain that we have a very unique and specific way of targeting these issues that makes that possible. I know that's an impossibly vague explanation and I apologize, but it's the best I can do.

Dealing with these issues on a daily basis is both rewarding and tiring. A little while after I started this job a coworker who has been here for a few years longer than I have told me how overwhelmed she felt when she first started. She was chatting with one of our senior staffers and told her that she felt as if she didn't know where to begin, how could one person start making a real difference when there was so much tough work to be done. The senior staffer looked at her and said, "You do what you can."

You do what you can. It's so simple, but really so profound.

I think that the reason why people often hesitate to get involved is because it seems like such a large, daunting task. Imagine though, what a world we'd have if everyone just did what they could. What would happen if, instead of thinking about all of the broad sweeping changes we'd have to make, people thought about small, achievable goals that could be easily integrated in to their lives.

Last year every time I posted between Thanksgiving and New Years, I put a link to a worthy cause at the bottom. I understood that I didn't have all that large of a readership and that I wasn't exactly going to be reaching masses of people, but that wasn't the point. I have a forum so why not use it? I am doing something that I can.

One of the charities I linked to last year was the Florida Special Arts Center, after seeing their color guard marching in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Normally I never would've heard of a local Florida charity up here in NYC, but seeing these kids in the parade made an impact on me and I wanted to spread the word. Of course there must be tons of other worthy causes that I don't know about so this year I'm asking for your help.

If you have a charity that you'd like me to highlight please leave a comment or email me at onelittlefish [at] ymail [dot] com with your suggestion. It can be local, national, international, whatever. It can be one that most of us have never heard of or one that's very well known by all. It doesn't matter. Remember we are not trying to fix everything through a few blog posts, we are just going what we can!

Isn't It Romantic

2009-10-28T11:10:00.005-04:00

Everyone always talks about the romantic notions of young people, but, funnily enough, I think I've become more romantic and less practical as I've gotten older. So, what's changed? Well, my experiences. I've come to find out that all of the crazy love stories I discounted when I was younger can actually come true.

Now, I'd be lying if I said that I still didn't believe that most of the time successful relations can and do follow a standard course. You meet, you date for a fairly significant amount of time, you get engaged and spend about year planning a wedding. I've come to realize though that, like with most things in life, there are exceptions to these rules; exceptions that really and truly do work.

A few months ago Cupcake told me a story about her in laws. They met and were engaged after three months. Then three months later they were married. For you mathletes out there, that's six months between meeting and marraige. They just celebrated there 40th wedding anniversary.

I love to hear an older coworker of mine talk about his wife. They have been together for nearly 40 years and he is still madly in love with her. One of my favorite stories he tells is of the first time he asked her out. It was the second time they had met and he was tongue tied, but he finally got up the nerve and asked her to a movie. My coworker is Native American and his wife is African American. When he asked her to the movie she replied, "Sure I'll go, but this isn't a date. I only date black men." They were married three months later!

Just last week I told you the story of my friends who broke up, had little contact for six years, ended up living in cities far away from each other, found their way back to each other and got married.

The chances are that most of us will follow that more traditional dating path. Even for someone like me, who now believes in more possibilities, I may find myself too cautious and practical to deviate too much from the traditional path. Still it's nice to know that the possibilites are endless and that sometimes things that shouldn't work just do.

Do you know any crazy relationship stories that worked out?

All The Odds Are In My Favor

2009-10-26T09:20:00.002-04:00

Last week was not a good week. Pretty much if it could've gone wrong it did. My cable went out for no reason and I had to deal with my horrible cable company, I left my purse at work on Thursday night and had to go back to get it, my hair dryer broke and I had to leave the house with soaking wet hair. All in all, not a pleasant week for me.

The awful week culminated in me having all four of my wisdom teeth pulled on Friday. Fun, huh?

I didn't have an IV, they just gave me an oral sedative, but I really think the oral surgeon, who I was not happy with, gave me too much for my size because I slept the entire rest of the day. My dad, who works in the city anyway, had come with me and as soon as he put me in to the car I fell asleep. When he got me to my parents house he set me up on the couch with a blanket and pillow and I promptly fell back asleep. My parents woke me for dinner (my mom had made me potato soup and mashed sweet potatoes, yum) which I managed to eat and then fell back asleep. I pretty much slept through until 6:45 the next morning. In total I slept for close to sixteen hours!

My recovery hasn't been bad. I was nauseous all day on Saturday which my oral surgeon neglected to mention is quite common after tooth removal. Mostly though I'm just a little sore, but it's manageable with Aleve and ice packs.

Needless to say, I'm glad to say goodbye to last week and I'm hedging my bets on having a nice week this week. I seem to have had so much rotten luck last week that I must've gotten it all out of the way for awhile, right? All the odds are in my favor.

I couldn't decide which version of this song to post since seeing Natasha Richardson perform in Cabaret on Broadway was one of the great privileges of my theater going life, but then the Liza Minelli version is so phenomenal too. However, since I'm obsessed Glee and with Kristin Chenowith and Lea Michelle, both of whom I've also had the privilege of seeing on Broadway, I chose this version.

On the Way To Cape May*

2009-10-20T16:11:00.008-04:00

I had an absolutely fabulous weekend this past weekend. I got to see two of my favorite people, my good friend Picasso and the wonderful Mr. Picasso become husband and wife!

Picasso and Mr. Picasso were college sweethearts and lived together after graduation, but things didn't work out and they parted ways. Six years later Mr. Picasso was living in Pittsburgh and Picasso was living in Boston, when he decided to pick up the phone and reconnect. I still remember Picasso telling me during a phone call three years ago that the college boyfriend all of us had heard so much about had called her all of these years later. My reaction went something like, "Ummm, oh, ok, ummmm how do you feel about that?"

Soon after they began getting reacquainted it became obvious that this was headed toward a renewed love connection. Most of Picasso's friends, including me, were protective and worried that she might get hurt opening up this old door, especially to someone who lived far away.

I think that I can speak for all of Picasso's friends when I say that those fears disappeared about 10 seconds after we met Mr. Picasso. He is truly one of the kindest, loveliest people I've ever met. His is fun to be around and his innate goodness just shines through him. Most importantly though is that he is crazy, madly, head over heels in love with Picasso and she with him. I have never, in all the time I've known her, seen her happier or more content.

About a year and a half ago Mr. P moved to Boston and a year ago he proposed. On Saturday Mr. and Mrs. Picasso were married in beautiful Cape May, NJ, the town where Picasso grew up.

Cape May is on the Jersey shore at the very bottom of the state, just across the water from Delaware. Being in the town is like walking in to a postcard; it's filled with Victorian homes, tiny bed and breakfasts, sweet little shops and lovely little restaurants. It's a place that oozes charm and character and Picasso was excited to show the town off to friends who came from all over.

Unfortunately, the weather was not ideal. A nor'easter, which is sort of like a mini hurricane that we only get on the East Coast, blew through town. The weekend was cold and wet, but in the end that didn't matter at all.

The ceremony was supposed to take place on the beach, but was moved instead to a pavilion on the beach. Luckily the pavilion was covered, but the structure was open on all four sides. When the guest arrived the rain was coming down and the wind was howling. The temperatures were unseasonably cold for this time of year and we all huddled under the pavilion wrapped in winter coats and scarves. We shivered and shook and tried to brace ourselves against the winds.

And then the ceremony started and all of a sudden the wind died down a bit and it didn't feel as bitingly cold. Perhaps it was Mother Nature smiling down on the newlyweds or perhaps it was the heat of all the people huddled close together or maybe, just maybe, it was the love that emanated not only from the couple, but from all of the friends and family that wished them well. If I have one wish for Mr. and Mrs. P, it's that the future they spend together will be just like their wedding day; that in the midst of whatever storms may be brewing around them they will remain warm and safe and loved.

The ceremony was short and one of the nicest I've ever attended, by the end there was not a dry eye in the house. Of course, after enduring the wind and rain, everyone was ready for a party, and what a party it was! The reception was filled with tons of our friends and we had an absolute blast dancing all night long. I think we all felt really honored to be celebrating all together and I don't think anyone stopped smiling for the whole evening.

Sometimes people meet, fall in love, get married, live happily ever after and it's as simple as that. Sometimes people find each other, fall in love and hit bumps and bruises and have to work really hard and then finally they live happily ever after. It doesn't matter how it happens though, because when it's right, it's right and in the case of Mr. and Mrs. Picasso it is very very right!

*The title is a reference to one of the first songs that the couple danced to. The song was written in 1960 and is a staple on that part of the Jersey shore

The Last Word (For Now) On the Dog

2009-10-19T13:28:00.001-04:00

I reached out to the dog and he responded. We've emailed a few times (aren't you impressed that he can type with paws). The emails have been pleasant and it's been nice to start getting to know him again, but, the more that we chat, I'm unsure of how I feel about him. He was a very good, if flawed person, back then and seems to still be a good and perhaps less flawed person now, but I'm not sure yet whether that spark we had is there.

While other people may think that I had romantic notions about reuniting with the dog and running off in to the sunset together, that's never what this was about. What this is about, what this has always been about, is finding out for myself how I feel.

It sort of seems like everyone thought that this could only end one of two ways; I could get my happy ending or I could fall again only to have my heart crushed. I seemed to be the only one who thought of a third possibility, the possibility that I would reconnect with him only to find that I have no romantic feelings for him.

Soon enough I will know what my feelings are, but if I had never reached out I never would have known and who would want to spend the rest of their life wondering?

Because I Can't Pour My Heart Out Every Single Day

2009-10-15T15:17:00.003-04:00

I'm taking a break today from self-reflection and over-analyzing and just doing this fun meme from Lisa's blog.

1. If you won the lottery, what would be your one random, off-the-wall purchase? You know I don't think I would make any off the wall purchases. I mean I'd make lots of big, fun purchases, but I wouldn't like buy an elephant or anything (though I do love elephants).

2. What is popular now that you just don’t get? Lady Gaga

3. What would be your last meal, you know, if you were ever about to be executed and you got to choose that sort of thing? I've already answered this once in another meme and decided that if I'm going to die anyway then I am not going to eat just one thing. I will have a gluttonous feast that includes bagels, pizza, pasta, creme brulee, panna cotta, etc, etc

4. When is it okay to start listening to Christmas music? Thanksgiving Day. Like anyone who grew up in the NYC area knows, the holiday season only truly begins when Santa comes riding through Herald Square at the end of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day.

5. How do you feel about facial hair on men? Every once in awhile I'll see a man who can pull it off, but 99.9% of the time I am fully opposed to it and go for clean shaven all the way!

6. McDonald’s or Burger King? If I ever ate fast food, which I don't, it would be Wendys or KFC.

7. What kind of soap do you use? Method

8. What movie can you watch over and over and never get tired of? About A Boy

9. Favorite beverage? Water or unsweetened iced tea

10. What do you want for Christmas? I would like to put an end to these religously insensitive meme's once and for all! (TOTALLY JOKING!) Seriously though, I don't celebrate Christmas, but for Chanukah this year I want money for my travel fund and better cook wear.

More From the Pet Store

2009-10-14T13:44:00.000-04:00

So I'm not quit done talking about that dog. After I put up that post, Jen was the fist one to comment and this is what she wrote: "i would look around the apartment and remember the shoes that were chewed beyond recognition and glance at the book shelf and see the spines of books that were substituted for raw hides...and then turn the page. but if it were something other than a dog, it could be different!"

I literally laughed out loud. Jen's comment was not only funny, it also made me think. I thought about the chewed up chews and ruined books. The more I thought about those things though, I also thought about the fun times with the puppy and all of the ways that puppy used to put a smile on my face. As I'm sure you can imagine this only left me more confused about things.

As you all know from reading this blog, I've been to the pet store many times before. I've even brought home other puppies, but none of them worked out. They ran away or I returned them and afterwards I was sad, but I got over it. If I saw an ad for any of those puppies back up for sale I wouldn't really care, I wouldn't even think about answering those ads. This particular puppy though, well seeing him as a dog and knowing he is on the market has thrown me for a loop.

So here I am, still stuck trying to figure this all out. I really appreciate all of your comments and insight about the dog, I just wish I knew what to do.

Let me give you one more detail about this situation and see if it changes your opinions about it. Before I saw his ad, I had already placed an ad of my own. Once you've placed one of these ads you get to see who has looked at it. That's how I found his ad. I found his ad because he had looked at my ad. The dog definitely sniffed around at my door, but he didn't knock. Does that make a difference?

Do I risk getting bitten by the dog again? On the other hand if I don't take the risk, can I really live with not knowing that I at least tried to make contact?

I'm so confused. I miss the dog.

Pretend You Believe I'm Actually Talking About A Dog

2009-10-13T11:44:00.001-04:00

Let's say that a few years ago you had purchased a puppy. You adored this puppy and when things were good and the puppy was behaving well you were happy. Unfortunately the puppy often behaved very badly and the puppy's actions often left you confused and hurt especially when coupled with the fact that you were not in the right state of mind to own a puppy. Eventually the puppy ran away and you were sad.

A few years passed and you assumed that you would never see the puppy again. For some reason all this time later you begin to think about the puppy again. A lot! Then one day you are looking through the newspaper and are shocked to the core to see an advertisement for that very same puppy. It's the very same puppy that you thought you'd never see again and the very same puppy that's been on your mind lately. Of course the puppy is no longer a puppy, the puppy is a dog and dogs have often outgrown their bad puppy habits. Also, you are a different person then you were when you had the puppy and are much more equipped for the dog now.

So there you are staring at this ad, staring at a picture of this dog that you thought you'd never see again, with every opportunity to reach out. What do you do?

There Goes The Neighborhood

2009-10-09T14:02:00.006-04:00

A few months ago newspapers were reporting that Jon Gosselin (aka King of the douche-bags) was about to buy an apartment on my block. As you can imagine I was not happy. I have to walk past that building everyday and had no desire to have to make my way through hordes of paparrazzi following around that pathetic loser. The months rolled by, however, with no paparazzi in sight so I assumed that the reports had been mistaken.

Last night I was catching up on some Martha Stewart on my dvr. The episode ended and so the live tv came back on to Extra and what is the first thing I hear, "Jon Gosselin talks to paparazzi near his Manhattan apartment." They proceeded to show clips of Gosselin in front of three different spots right on my block. Damn it! I was obviously safely in my apartment or at work when the paps were on my block, but I'm sure that I'll see them at some point running the block that I adore.

By the way, in case you need further proof that Jon Gosselin is a self-serving and self-promoting ass, consider where he chose to buy an apartment. The Upper West Side is not only an incredible neighborhood, it's also an incredibly diverse neighborhood. There are tons of beautiful quiet streets, many where actual celebrities live (I see celebs all the time, I just spoke to Holland Taylor on line at Starbucks a few weeks ago). My block though, the block Gosselin chose, is busy and bustling and the building he lives in is right on the corner and across the street from a large and very busy subway stop. It's not the kind of place you live if you are recognizable and are trying to keep a low profile. If you are famous, or infamous as the case may be, you only live in that location because you are looking for more attention. Ugh!!

*********

Luckily Jon Gosselin's 15 minutes will be up shortly and the Upper West Side will always remain an amazing neighborhood. I love where I live and I love supporting my local community so I want to let you know about an awesome accolade that was bestowed upon a local business. Beacon Paint & Hardware, which has been in the same location for 109 years, is one of the three finalists in NBC/American Express' Shine A Light on a small business contest. Beacon has been recognized for their great work in the community like providing the local public school with anything they might need free of charge and spearheading a walkathon to help persons affected by a rare genetic disease that doesn't allow them to be in the sun. Please visit the website and vote for Beacon Paint & Hardware!

He Went Away From Me*

2009-10-08T14:38:00.009-04:00

In case you're wondering how it feels to be 31 years old and realize that most of your friends aren't really friends, it pretty much sucks. Still, I'm not a lonely junior high student so I'll get past this and move on, especially since my real true friends may be small in number, but are amazing just the same.

Right now, I am missing a certain friend. There is something going on right now that only he could really help me with. With other people it would take so long to explain how I feel and why, but that wouldn't happen with this friend. He would know how I am feeling before I even finished because we think alike and because he gets the way my mind and heart work and because we have known each other for nearly a decade. He would tell me exactly what he thought even if it stung a little bit because he doesn't lie. He would be firm, but never unkind because he has always had my best interests at heart. He would tell me exactly what I need to hear.

It's sad and I miss him, but things are as they are and so I just have to deal. Oh well...

*********

*The title of today's post comes from a poem by Langston Hughes. I'm pretty sure the poem is talking about the death of a friend, but I promise I wasn't trying to be overly dramatic. Really I just love Langston Hughes and the poem was rattling around in my head.

"I loved my friend
He went away from me
There's nothing more to say
The poem ends,
Soft as it began-
I loved my friend."
Langston Hughes

Beauty School: Part II

2009-10-07T10:36:00.010-04:00

Welcome to the second edition of the Beauty School Project.

This time I decided to go in alphabetical order for no particular reason.

Auburn Kat: I love my smile. I went to the orthodontist for over ten years - I had numerous teeth pulled including one pulled up (I won't go into detail about that one other than -ouch), wore countless retainers and braces. Thanks to my parents forking out thousands of dollars and countless hours taking me to the orthodontist, I now have a wonderful smile.

Chickbug: I love my long eye lashes. It never occurred to me growing up long eye lashes was something to be grateful for. But once my friends and I started wearing eye make-up I realized the benefits! I hope they stay long for years to come.

Erin: I love my hands! My fingers are cute & petite - and they 're always soft. I never need hand lotion!

Jen: I have cute feet. I love the fact that many women in my family have the gnarly, bunion filled, hard nailed feet, and I have cute little toes, with perfect toenails, no bunions or corns, no cankles or no abnormally proportioned toes. They could be models!

Katie: I have a constellation on my body. It's true. It's the little dipper in freckles on one of my upper thigh. It's probably my favorite, and the least known, thing about my body. It's adorable.

Kylie: I love my boobs. They're 100% natural and they definitely weren't always there. I swear I went from an A cup to a DD overnight. One of Hubby's nicknames for me is "Big Boobs McGee". Gotta love it!

Lisa: I like my calves. Because I run so much, they are very toned and muscular

Little Fish (that's me): My eyes are not really blue, they're gray. Actually if you really look closely you'll see that my eyes are three distinct colors; gold around the pupil, then a medium gray/green circle and rimmed with a dark gray/blue. Multiple times in my life I've been stopped by total strangers to ask me where I got those "cool colored contacts," only to have them look at me with shock when I sheepishly say, "um, I don't wear contacts."

Mandy: I love my eyes. They are a rich, dark brown almost black. They are perfectly shaped and framed by long lashes. My eyes are definitely one of my best features.

Nora: One thing I'm loving on my body as of late: my long legs. They carried me through many ballet classes, marching band practices and in the last several years, countless runs. They elongate my silhouette especially in dresses and skirts and they really do make me feel like a "natural woman."

Snoot757: I have great toes! They always look nice with a pedicure (although not in the freaky bachelor Kinda Way!)

Stephanie: My natural hair-clor is that brown-auburn color Anne of Green Gables always wanted. I think of this, and feel a little smug every time. TAKE THAT ANNE.

Thank you once again to all of the BEAUTIFUL women who continue to participate in this project.

I'm sure you'll all agree that everyone deserves to feel beautiful so please visit the Operation Smile website and consider donating a little something to this wonderful organization.

Part 3 of this project will be up on Wednesday November 4th.

Supercreepybowl

2009-10-05T14:11:00.002-04:00

Last night I started to write a post about someone who owes me an apology finding me on facebook which lead me to remember a funny story. I'm still going to finish the original post, but in the meantime I thought you might enjoy this funny/creepy/weird story.

A couple of years ago, before I was on facebook and still using myspace (don't judge you all had myspace pages too), I got a friend request from my first boyfriend. He had been my boyfriend for all of four months my freshmen year of college. I didn't remember this at the time, but, as I was soon reminded, we had met at a Superbowl party. He was an immature jerk who treated me pretty badly, but it was four months when I was 18 so it's not exactly something I ever think about or consider a particularly significant part of my life.

Though he wasn't someone I had any desire to be in contact with I accepted his friend request figuring that he'd never bother writing to me. I was wrong. He wrote me brief a note that told me where he was living and what he was doing, how long he had been married for and ended with an immature and insincere apology saying, "I was a real jerk to you, sorry about that." I didn't bother to respond because this was not someone I had any desire to be in contact with and though the apology was half-assed it was also unnecessary all these years later.

Over the next few weeks I would log in to see that he had posted gross and offensive pictures, juvenile and inappropriate jokes for all to see or included me in mass emails that contained pictures or jokes that were inappropriate and offensive. It was actually comical to see that he had not grown up at all in the nearly 10 years since I'd last seen him.

One winter day, a few days before Suberbowl Sunday, I got an email from him that read, "Hey LF, Remember when I met you at that superbowl party and I used this line on you [insert bad line-sorry I don't remember the line and find it creepy that he does]? Maybe I should try to use it on another girl this Sunday since my wife is divorcing me."

I am not making that up. He really sent me that message. This was a decade later, I barely remembered that we had met at a Superbowl party, much less the line he used on me. As you've probably guessed I un-friended him shortly after receiving that message. Luckily he's never tracked me down on facebook. If he does I can assure you I'll be denying his friend request.

OK lay it on me, what are your creepy facebook/myspace stories?

I Hate The Fall

2009-10-01T10:24:00.002-04:00

Yup, I said it. I hate the Fall!

In theory there are lots of nice things about Fall. The colors are beautiful and the air smells nice. You get to wear boots, which I admit are my favorite form of footwear, and I will concede that fall is the nicest time to be in New York City. There's always a sense of renewal in the city at this time of year as everyone comes back from summer vacations and preparations for the holiday season, which no place on the planet does better then New York, begin. All of these things should make me like the Fall, but there are two major problems; Fall brings with it two of the things I hate most in the world, cold weather and short days.

I like warmth and I like light! I love being able to throw on a dress and not have to bother putting stockings on. I love not having to spend an extra five minutes of my time bundling myself in layers of scarves and jackets before I leave my apartment. I love being able to walk outside at 8:00 at night and still need my sunglasses. I am a summer girl and I miss it already!

In case any of you might suggest that these Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte's you're all raving about might make all of this bearable, please note that I don't like coffee and I hate pumpkin spices!

*******

Sorry that I've been an absent blogger and commenter lately. It's been a crazy few weeks, but I'm mostly back.

*******

Don't forget to check out part two of the Beauty School Project next Wednesday October 7th.

2009-09-22T19:55:00.009-04:00

“Of course, there must be lots of Magic in the world, but people don’t know what it is like or how to make it. Perhaps the beginning is just to say nice things are going to happen until you make them happen.”

The Secret Garden

[We Heart it]

I'm too busy and tired to write right now so this is what you're getting for now. Don't hate me.

Time For Another Feel Good Story

2009-09-17T20:44:00.001-04:00

A lot of you have probably seen this by now, but I love it too much to not post it.

At a Phillies game the other night a man in the stands catches a foul ball, an exciting moment for any baseball fan. He then hands it to his three year old daughter. What she does next is hysterical and the way her father reacts is one of the most heartwarming and endearing things I've seen in a long time.

After the game the father, Steve Monforto, was asked about the giant bear hug he immediately gave his daughter, Emily, after she tossed away the ball. He told the reporter that there was a collective gasp let out by the fans around him and he was afraid Emily might think she'd done something wrong. He gave her that giant hug to reassure her that he wasn't mad at her at all. Could. You. Die. Of. Sweetness.

I also love the fact that this dad, who has two daughters, engages his little girl in baseball just like he would engage a little boy because girls can love baseball too!

The family was on the Today show this morning and we got another glimpse into what a great family this is and what a great dad Steve is.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Frankly, It's Gotta Quit

2009-09-16T12:28:00.000-04:00

So here's somehting wierd, I'm in a really good mood and I feel like, for the most part, my life is going really well, but at the same time I'm dealing with something truly upsetting.

I'm liking my life right now and glad of the path that I'm on, but when it comes to several of the relationships in my life right now a song by my idol and personal Goddess Christina Aguilera keeps popping in to my head. The song is called Underappreciated.

As I've told you before, I'm not great at staying touch with people and I am so not a phone person, but I still find a way to be available and engaged in the lives of people I claim to care abut. I mean how lucky are we to live in a world where, if you don't have the time to make a phone call, you have so many other ways of contact. There's a quick text to say, "Sorry I haven't called, but I'm thinking of you and I miss you." There's email where you can catch up on lengthier details at your own pace. There's facebook where you can write a quick message on someone's wall. Really it's 2009, there are a million ways of keeping in touch and I utilize them.

I may not be the best at picking up the phone, but I stay available and engaged. I never forget a birthday or important date in people's lives. Everyone in my life who is important to me knows that they are important to me, but the same can't be said in reverse. It's a pretty crappy feeling.

So where does this leave me? Well, it's upsetting and frustrating yet I'm still generally in a good mood and I like my life. I think the answer is that I need to make some new friends, now the question is how?

The title of today's post comes from this song

How Bold Can You Go?

2009-09-14T22:15:00.003-04:00

Let's talk about something we haven't talked about in awhile... boys! Or, to be more exact, how we act with them. So here's my question for today; when it comes to dating, how bold are you?

I'm not talking in relationships here, that's a whole different ball game. I'm talking about when you meet someone you like or on those first few dates. Would you ever ask a guy for his phone number or out on a date? Would you ever be the first one to lean in and kiss a guy?

My answer to all of the above questions is no. I think women who can be bold are awesome and I don't think that making all the moves needs to be a man's job. I'm just not that girl. I don't think that's a bad thing; I am who I am. I'm just curious as to how others are.

Are you normally bold when it comes to dating? What's the boldest thing you've ever done in a dating situation? If you have a story I'd love to hear it.

I Want To Feel Sunlight On My Face

2009-09-11T10:20:00.003-04:00

Today is a day for thoughts and reflection, but it's also a day to remember that when we stand together as American's we can accomplish extraordinary things and out of great tragedy we can grow stronger.

http://www.tuesdayschildren.org/howtohelp/individual.php

Ten Years of 9's

2009-09-09T16:59:00.002-04:00

Well the internet seems to be all abuzz with mentions of the fact that today's date is 9/9/09. There are all kinds of interesting factoids out there like the fact that a single digit day like this won't happen for another 92 years on 1/1/01 (that's 2101 by the way). Many couples have decided to get married thinking a day filled with nine's will bring them luck and the good people of Las Vegas have responded by offering $99.09 wedding packages.

Honestly though I don't see much global significance to this day. The only significance that I feel is personal because today mark one full decade of friendship for BFF and I! That's right, today is our 10 year anniversary! In case your math skills are even worse then mine that means we met on 9/9/99. Who could've imagined that we'd form a life long friendship on that random day!

So this post is dedicated to my BFF. Here's to the 10 years of friendship we've had and to the lifetime of friendship to come!

Dear Universe: Let's Keep the Good Times Rolling

2009-09-08T09:29:00.001-04:00

Dear Universe,

As you know I've had a lovely few days.

On Thursday night I went to see the Counting Crows in concert for the eighth time. I wasn't sure what to expect because this show was an unusual one. Counting Crows are touring with Augustana and Michael Franti & Spearhead, but, unlike the traditional opening act/headliner set up, these shows are set up to be more like giant jam sessions. At any given time one or all of the bands could be on the stage. They might join in on each others songs or they might all play a cover together. Interesting, huh?

The show was amazing! The weather was magnificent which was perfect since the concert was in Central Park. I was pretty unfamiliar with Augustana and Spearhead, but they turned out to be wonderful performers and I know want to download a bunch of Spearhead songs. The bands played for four hours and brought out a special guest Emmy Rossum who turned out to be amazing jamming with the whole gang. I couldn't have asked for more in a show.

Early Friday morning my parents and brother picked me up and we headed to Massachusetts for my cousins wedding. The weather was extraordinary again and we hit absolutely no traffic which gave us plenty of time to explore Newburyport, MA, my cousin's new wife's hometown. I can't believe that in all of my years of living in New England I had never been to Newburyport. It is one of the loveliest towns I have ever been to and we all had a great time there.

The next day, while my aunt and uncle went to help prepare for the wedding, my Grandmother came with us to explore Porstmouth, NH, where I had been before and was glad to return to. It's a nice town and we had a nice time. The weather was once again perfect and it was so fun to get to hang out with my Grandma!

Before long it was time to go back to the hotel and change and then it was off to my cousin's wedding. I can truly say that this was one of the nicest weddings I have ever been to. The wedding took place at the home of the bride's sister's boyfriend. The house was on a beautiful lake and the wedding party came in by boat. The bride looked beautiful, the ceremony was lovely and the setting was unreal. The wedding was very nontraditional, but everything was just wonderful and a great time was had by all.

On Sunday I headed back to New York and then went out to dinner with my friend K at one of my favorite spots. It was a night filled with delicious food, good wine and excellent company, what more could you ask for?

Monday was spent simply relaxing and running errands which was much appreciated after a wonderful but busy few days.

So Universe I've had such a great few days and I think we should just continue with that. Really I can't think of one good reason why I shouldn't just keep on this streak of wonderful days, can you? No, I didn't think so.

Thanks,

Little Fish

So did you all enjoy these last few days? What did you do with the long weekend?

Beauty School: Part I

2009-09-02T09:34:00.004-04:00

Welcome to our first installment of the Beauty School Project!

Since this is my blog I guess I'll go first. I've decided that instead of saving the best for last, I'm going to make the best first. My favorite feature about myself are my collar bones. When I was overweight I had no idea I had lovely collar bones, but as I got smaller they became more and more noticeable. Now they are well defined and love wearing clothes that show them off! Whenever I want to feel confident in a situation I put on a tope or dress with an open neckline to give them the audience they deserve!

Erin: I love my eyes! They change back and forth between green and brown...most of the time being a mixture of the two (brown around the pupil and green on the outer ring). How cool is that? I never know what color my eyes will be when I wake up in the morning :-)

Lisa: I have what have been described as 'piano hands' which basically means I have long, thin fingers. My hands are pretty dainty and they look just like my mom's, which I love!

Stephanie: My freckles are freakin' adorable.

Kylie: I believe I have a great smile. I feel beautiful when I smile.

Snoot757: I really like my nose! While many people are always trying to change their nose, mine fits my face and I think it's cute!!!!!

Auburn Kat: I love my chest! For the longest time I was completely flat chested and used to be teased by guys who said they had bigger boobs than I did. Thankfully as I have gotten older my chest has grown and now I am a full 34B and let me tell you, I absolutely love it! I'm not too big, but just big enough to show off some cleavage!

Nora: My stomach & waist. My stomach is flat, nipped in in all the right places, complemented with a belly button ring that I have had for years. My waist is cinched in creating a curvy look to my body which I've embraced and love. These two things make me feel incredibly feminine and sexy.

Chickbug: They say size matters but I love my small hands.They are delicate and petite.

Mandy: I love my boobs! I have large boobs that are 100% real and spectacular. People pay a lot of money for what Mother Nature gave me naturally.

Katie: I’m going to start with the thing I love the most about my appearance: My hair! I’m going to be absolutely unapologetic about this—my hair is naturally very thick and very shiny and very smooth. And I love it pieces for that. When I was 22 I started to gray (I got that from my dad) and at first I was devastated. To quote Little Women, I felt like I was losing my one true beauty. But thanks to hair dye, I gained back what I felt like I lost. (I’m not going to apologize that part of what I love is unnaturally assisted.) I’m starting to appreciate my natural white, though. It’s really beautiful. My hair doesn’t go through a gray phase—it actually goes straight to a sparkly white (think slightly brighter than Meryl Streep’s hair in The Devil Wears Prada). One day I’ll be ready to go all natural, but until then I’m happy with the state of crowning glory.

Jen: I love my eyes, i love that they change color with what outfit I am wearing, or what mood I am in. my mom has told me that they sparkle!

Thank you to all of the BEAUTIFUL girls who are participating in this project!

Rainy Day Meme

2009-08-28T15:30:00.010-04:00

OK I admit it, I'm the laziest blogger ever! I'm tired and it's rainy outside and I don't feel like thinking so I googled around for some fun meme's and stumbled on this one.

Answer the following questions using song lyrics.

Who are you?
[Damn it, the title of one of my favorite songs is my actual name, but I don't like using my real name on the blog!]

A Fendi bag and a bad attitude
That's all I need to get me in a good mood
She can walk with a switch and talk with street slang
I love it when a woman ain't scared to do her thing

Around The Way Girl, LL Cool J ;-)

Are you male or female?

Nothing matters in this whole wide world
When you're in love with a Jersey girl

Jersey Girl, Bruce Springsteen or Tom Waits

What place do you love best?

I'll always be thinking of you
I'll always love you though New York

New York New York by Ryan Adams

What do you look like?

Isn't she lovely
Isn't she wonderful
Isn't she precious

Isn't She Lovely, Stevie Wonder ;-)

What do you want to say to your best friend?

The best thing you've ever done for me
Is to help me take my life less seriously
It's only life after all

Closer To Fine, Indigo Girls

What’s your best quality?

If the sky above you
Should turn dark and full of clouds
And that old north wind should begin to blow
Keep your head together and call my name out loud
And soon I will be knocking upon your door.

You've Got A Friend, Carole King or James Taylor

What’s your worst quality?

I've made up my mind, don't need to think it over
If I'm wrong I am right, don't need to look no further

Chasing Pavements, Adele

Where do you see yourself in one year?
[Going to my happy place]

Won't you kiss me
On that midnight street
Sweep me off my feet
Singing ain't this life so sweet

This Years Love, David Gray

What’s sexy?

His finger's unzipping your dress and it makes you shiver

Cowboys, Counting Crows

What does love mean to you?

It's when you cry just a little
But you laugh in the middle
That's when you've made made it

Tonight Not Again, Jason Mraz

What would you say to the one who got away?
[Get out your barf bags girls- this is waaaay cheesy]

We weren't meant to be
At least not in this lifetime
But you gave me something to remember
I hear you still say, Love yourself

Something to Remember, Madonna

What makes you angry?

Your going round
Playing the victim now

Fighter, Christina Aguilera

What makes you happy?

It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
It's a beautiful day

Beautiful Day, U2

What makes you sad?

I quit, I give up
Nothings good enough for anybody else
It seems

Circle of Friends, Edie Brickell

How do you feel when you think about your biggest mistake?

Watch this hurting feeling disappear like it was common sense
It was a fine idea at the time
Now its a brilliant mistake

Brilliant Mistake, Elvis Costello

Some words to live by:

Life is short but you're here to flower
Dream yourself along another day
Never miss opportunity
Don't be scared of what you cannot see
Your only fear is possibility
Never wonder what the hell went wrong
Your second chance may never come along

Opportunity, Pete Murray

It kills me to have to post a video that features that arrogant, womanizing ass John Mayer, but this was the only video of this song that I could embed and I admit this is a great performance.

There Are Spies Everywhere

2009-08-25T14:07:00.003-04:00

In case you hadn't heard Glamour Magazine totally stole some of my ideas. I'll write more when I get home and I time to reread to article, but for now watch this.

OK Glamour, I guess it's good to know we're in this together!

I'll be sending a reminder about the Beauty School project to the girls who've agreed to participate. If you'd like to participate please let me know ASAP.

It's Hot and I'm Lazy!

2009-08-21T12:48:00.006-04:00

I stole this meme from Laura.

Outside my window... I wouldn't know. My office is on the 18th floor and the sun beats into the windows so on hot days I have to keep the blinds down to keep it somewhat bearable in here.

I am thinking... Too much!

I am thankful for… My friends and family!

From the kitchen… Yesterday at the farmers market I bought, among other things, Rainbow Swiss Chard and Cherry Tomatoes so last night I sauteed it all up with some garlic and olive oil and added it to whole wheat pasta. That's what I had for lunch today. Delicious!

I am wearing… A white t-shirt with a full, knee length blue skirt with little white clouds all over it.

I am creating… Myself every day.

I am going… To see Sarah Rabdau tonight!

I am reading… The Secret Garden for the fourth time.

I am praying… For health and happiness for everyone I love and for a better world for everyone (yea, I'm cheesy like that)

I am hearing… When I Dream of Michelangelo by Counting Crows (it's what they're playing on my Pandora right now)

Around the house… I need to clean!

One of my favorite things… Barney Frank

A few plans for the rest of the week… I'm hanging out with my cousin tonight and hopefully tomorrow I'm meeting up with Auburn Kat!

Rule Book

2009-08-19T09:24:00.009-04:00

So, I've read the comments on my last post and it looks like people may be interested in my Beauty School challenge, but it needs some clarification. I'm calling it the Beauty School challenge because it's about learning new behavior.

Before I give you the rules let me give a shout out to one of my favorite blogger, Katie at Scattered Starlight. Last year Katie came up with a list of ten things she loved about her appearance. At the time all I could think was how brave she was because I could never do something like that. Thank you Katie for being part of the inspiration for this project.

The rules:

This will be a six month project to start off with and will only deal with physical appearance. If you choose to participate you'll email me your self-compliment by the first Monday of every month (I'll send you a reminder) and I will post it along with the others on the first Wednesday of the month. If this goes well then perhaps perhaps we'll extend this to six more physical beauty compliments or maybe we'll spend the six month after writing self-compliments about our inner beauty.

You can't apologize in your self-compliment (ie I probably sound arrogant...). You can't have any buts in your compliment (ie I love xyz, but sometimes it looks like abc...). You can't mention a compliment from another person (ie My boyfriend/mother/best friend says I have...). I want to know what YOU think is beautiful about YOU!

If you think that six may be hard to come up with remember to think beyond the obvious like hair and eyes. Do you love your beautiful long tapered fingers? Use that! I'm not going to tell you what you should love about yourself.

If you've already given yourself a compliment in the comments section of this post, you can use it again for one of the months and just elaborate a bit.

So who's in? Leave me a comment or email me onelittlefish [at] ymail [dot] com if you'd like to participate.

Could You, Would You?

2009-08-18T11:52:00.001-04:00

A couple of weeks ago I wrote a post encouraging anyone reading it to pay themselves a compliment in the comments section. As I was writing the post I came up with an idea I thought about making it a monthly feature with any readers who wanted to join in. The project would go something like this. Every month for one year the women who'd agreed to do this with me would think of one thing they liked about their appearance and email it to me and I would post them on a designated day. Hopefully anyone who was not participating, but was reading would feel bold enough to pay themselves a compliment.

I loved the idea and was patting myself on the back when a bolt of fear shot through me! Suddenly I realized that if I was asking other people to do this, I'd have to do it myself. I would have to come up twelve things I liked about my appearance. Twelve things! Could I do that? Is it possible? Should I try to challenge myself?

Then it occurred to me that if I was feeling that way the other women I asked might have a hard time too. Perhaps this would work better as a six month project. Still, six self-compliments- yikes!

So, what do you think? Do you like the idea? Do you think it's possible to do this and would you like to participate?

We Only Got 4 Minutes To Save The World*

2009-08-13T10:17:00.005-04:00

So there I was in early July, freshly back from vacation and little bummed out at the idea of being back to reality. I was sitting on my couch checking my emails when I noticed a message about upcoming speed dating events in my area. I've gotten these emails before and a couple of time I've even opened them up out of curiosity, but in the end I've always discarded them. This time though, just as I was about to hit the delete button, I stopped. Here I was feeling stuck, maybe it was time to try something new. One of my good friends actually met her husband at a speed dating event so maybe it was worth a shot. Before I had time to talk myself out of it I signed up.

I only told my friend Polly, the most positive and least judgmental person I know, but for the most part I just put it out of my mind until yesterday when I had to think about it. Though I was sure this event would be filled with freaks and weirdos, I encouraged myself by choosing to use this as an opportunity to hone my skills when talking to men. I threw on one of my favorite dresses, put a smile on my face and walked in to see what this speed dating thing was all about.

Guess what? No really guess... OK, you'll never guess. It was actually really fun!

It starts at 7:30, but you're supposed to come early so that you can register and get a drink. As we waited for the event to begin I met some really cool girls which made me more at ease. When it was time to begin the woman all took seats where they would remain for the length of the event. The men sat across from you and rotated every four minutes at the sound of a whistle.

Four minutes was the perfect length of time for each "date." Of course there were times when four minutes seemed liked an eternity and other times when four minutes wasn't nearly enough time, but mostly it was just right. As for freaks and weirdos, well there were a couple of those. Mostly though, even the guys I wasn't interested in were really nice just not for me.

One of my biggest concerns before the event was that it would be too intense; instead the vibe was light-hearted and fun. Most people seemed to have the same, let see what this is like with no expectations attitude as I did which took all of the pressure off of the evening.

In total I went on 16 "dates." I marked a few yes's on my scorecard and now I have to wait to see if any of my yes's said yes to me. While I'm waiting feel free to send good thoughts my way!

Tomorrow I'm off to Rhode Island for my cousin's wedding. I hope you all have a great weekend.

* Anyone who knows me is probably in serious shock that I used a line from a Justin Timberlake/Madonna song in one of my posts. See, I sometimes know popular music.

Born Too Late

2009-08-09T13:26:00.006-04:00

Last Thursday I went to a fantastic fundraiser with my friend L. It was sock-hop themed so we all dressed in 1950's clothing. This was not difficult for me as I have about a million items of clothing that look like they came straight from that decade. I went with one of my all time favorite dresses, a pink and white striped shirt dress with a skinny belt and a full skirt; very 50's! The event had some great touches including a photo booth and a great band. The band was made up of a group of very cute young guys playing music from the 50's. The fundraiser was filled with people mostly in their late 20's/early 30's and I feared that some people might act "too cool for school," but that wasn't the case at all. Everyone was on the dance floor going crazy. We did the Twist and the Mashed Potato and jumped and cheered for more golden oldies from the band.

This was one of the best events I've ever been to and lead L and I to lament the fact that we were born in the wrong decade. I love the 50's though they're actually my second favorite decade. If you've read this blog at all you must know what my favorite decade is! Of course it's the 1940's. If I could wake up tomorrow and be any one else other than myself I'd be a Varga Girl.

Whoa, whoa, whoa... wait a minute, wait a minute you over there. Please stop screaming at me about the fact that there was a war going on during the 1940's, that women weren't treated as equals in the 40's or 50's and that segregation was both legal and accepted. I know all that and I know that I'm romanticizing. War, sexism and racism are all, to put it quite eloquently, bad.

Let me tell you what I do love most about the 40's. First the fashion! I love the close fitting tailored silhouettes, high waists, round toed shoes, cinched in belts and seamed stockings. Oh the sexy red lips and pulled back hair, I love it all!

The second thing I love about the 40's is that decades idea of sexy. As far as I'm concerned there is nothing sexier then a 1940's pinup girl! I love the unapologetic femininity, flirtation and cheekiness of those women. In those days the sexiest thing a woman could do was tease a bit. You could show just a hint of something and send a subtle message that said, "You know you want this and maybe, just maybe, if you work really hard you might get to see more of it." Today's sexy seems to be, I'll get out of the car in a short dress with no underwear or I'll post explicit pictures of myself on facebook, sending a not so subtle message that says, "You and every other man on the planet can have me any time, anywhere. You don't have to put in any work before and afterwards you don't even need to remember my name." I don't know about you, but I find the first message much more appealing. Imagination is sexy! Leaving a man just a bit frustrated until next time is sexy!

Finally, the 1940's were a decade where women truly showed the strength we have. While the men were off fighting a war, women took care of their homes and went to work in the factories. They raised children, put food on the table and pulled together in their communities. Historians say that the woman's movement, which we associate with the 1960's and 70's, was born in the 1940's. For the first time women of all backgrounds and income levels were out in the work force. When the war came to an end these woman hung up their work clothes and went back to their traditional roles, but the spark had been lit and their daughters would see this and start to fight for the equality their mothers never really had.

Amusingly, I took the Which Decade Are You quiz on facebook a couple of months ago and, for once, once of those fb quizzes actually got it totally right:

You are the 40's

You are quite the glamorous revolutionary! You have a sense of pride in everything that you take on, whether it's filling in to do a man's job during wartime or raise your daughters to step up to the challenge of helping to establish women's rights, you take things head on! You are a hard worker and are always looking out for others. Your style centers around clean lines and timeless designs. Women in the 40's had the same sense of pride in their bodies and dressed in a way that accentuated their figures! You are not one to stand by and let things happen to you, you go after what you want and you are respected and admired for it!

So, which decade do you belong in?

So Nice You Should See It Twice

2009-08-05T12:08:00.002-04:00

Last year, before anyone was actually reading my blog, I posted an amazing video from Dove's Campaign For Real Beauty website. I've been thinking about it a lot recently due to some conversations I've had and the post I wrote last week about women being socialized to hate their appearance. It's a video that everyone should watch and then send to all of the women in their lives, so, if you missed it the first time, here it is again:

I dare you to tell me that video didn't make you tear up just a little bit!

Me Me Me!

2009-08-03T09:50:00.002-04:00

The lovely Katie over at Scattered Starlight tagged me in this meme. The most fun part of this meme is that your supposed to pick one question that you don't like and replacing it with one of your own. I'll use an asterisk (*) to mark the question I replaced.

What is your current obsession? The cherry tomatoes that I just got from the farmers market. They're candy sweet and I just keep popping them in like m&ms

What do you hate the most that everybody else seems to love? KETCHUP! I have this theory that ketchup manufacturers sneak an addictive chemical into their formula's that make people think that it actually tastes good, but I am immune to this chemical which is why I am one of the few people in the world that realizes that ketchup is actually disgusting! Everything about it is gross; the taste, the texture and don't even get me started on people who say, "But you love tomatoes!" Ketchup tastes nothing like tomatoes.

What are you wearing today? An ivory short sleeve top with puff sleeves and a gray knee length, knife pleat skirt.

What's for dinner? I'm not sure yet, but most likely there will be a tomato and mozzarella salad involved since I just saw my parents and they brought me a tomato and a bunch of basil from their garden- yum!

What would you eat for your last meal? OK it will take me a novel to answer this question. Really good new york style cheese pizza, a toasted egg bagel with cream cheese, white fish salad and a thick slice of tomatoes, lots and lots of strawberries and sweet potatoes, the lasagnetta (deconstructed lasagne) with lamb ragu that I had at the Jamie Oliver restaurant in London, a mug of hot chocolate with whipped cream from Cafe Norden in Copenhagen, lavender creme brulee, panna cotta, cheese, cheese and more cheese! I'd better stop right now before this list takes up the whole page, but if I'm going to die anyway I might as well go out in style!

What's the last thing you bought? Groceries

What are you listening to right now? Sam Cooke!

What do you think of the person that tagged you? I think Katie is a fantastic writer and I love the way she loves words. Katie seems to always have the perfect quote for every situation which as a lover of words myself I truly appreciate. I love that Katie loves me even though my grammar is terrible.

If you could have a house, fully paid for, and totally furnished anywhere in the world, where would it be? A suburb of NYC. I'd have to do some research as to which one, but there are quite a few that I have in mind. I wouldn't be living in the house right now. For now I'd still be living in the city, but when I get married and my husband and I are ready to start a family we will have a house all ready for us.

What is one of your hobbies? Cooking. I love to cook. A few weeks ago I made two recipes from Gourmet magazine, Ancho and Cocoa Carne Asada and Strawberry Dumpling. They both turned out delicious!

*What TV show are you proud that you watch? What TV show are you ashamed that you watch? I'm very proud that I watch Ugly Betty because she is one of the best female characters on television. Anyone who has a tween daughter should be watching this show with them. Betty is strong, confident and has an amazing support system of people who love her for the fantastic person she is. As for what show I'm ashamed of, that's a toughie since I watch some real crap television. I guess I'll go with Big Brother because there is really no redeeming quality and I get way to in to it.

What is your favorite color? Red

What is your dream job? Being a mom

Describe your personal style. Haven't we been over this like 100 times? Classic, feminine, simple, looks like you could be wearing it anytime from 1945-1965), lots of skirts and dresses.

What are you going to do after this? I did have plans with Cupcake, but I asked if we could reschedule until Wednesday because I have a million stupid errands.

What is your favorite "happy hour" at Sonic? Clearly this meme was not written by someone from the North East- we don't have Sonic here.

What inspires you? Words. I love words whether they're spoken or written. I love how the right words said at the right time can completely alter how you think or feel. I love how the right words just feel good on your tongue. I love when someone says something in a language that you don't understand, but you know by the look in their eyes and the tone in their voice what they're trying to say.

Which celebrity would you shameless make out with even if the paparazzi were snapping pictures? James Franco because it would be more then just making out. When James meets me he will fall madly in love with me and he and I will be together forever. (Stalker, much?)

What are you currently reading? The Smithsonian by Gore Vidal

What delighted you most today? That sunshine! (We haven't had much of it this summer)

By what criteria do you judge a person? I judge a person by how kind, courteous and respectful they are to others around them. If there is a better way of judging people I certainly don't know it.

Which fictional character from a literary work would you be? Bokonon from Cat's Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut (you have to be a Vonnegut fan to get that- sorry).

The rules: Respond and rework; answer the questions on your blog, replace one question you dislike with a question of your invention, add one more question of your own.

I forgot how many people I'm supposed to tag so I'm just going to tag one: Kylie you're it! (Sorry for not linking to her blog, but it's semi-private).

You Think You're Really Pretty?

2009-07-31T11:26:00.008-04:00

Remember this scene from Mean Girls*?

Karen: God. My hips are huge!
Gretchen: Oh please. I hate my calves.
Regina: At least you guys can wear halters. I've got man shoulders.
Cady: [voiceover] I used to think there was just fat and skinny. But apparently there's lots of things that can be wrong on your body.

In case you've been living under a rock and haven't seen Mean Girls, the movies main character is Cady Heron. Cady has spent her whole life living in Africa and being home schooled by her zoologist parents. When the family moves back to the US she attends a regular high school with kids her own age for the first time. Because Cady wasn't raised with other American girls she is completely unaware of how American girl culture works and is totally confused by why the attractive girls around her are trying to one up each other with self hating statements.

I've never met a woman who didn't love Mean Girls. While situations in the movie are exaggerated for comedic effect the message of the movie is highly relatable to all of us.

How many times have you been with your girlfriends and self-bashed? In reality, and passed high school age, it's done in a far kinder way then in Mean Girls, with your friends insisting that your crazy. However it's still accepted and almost expected that woman will sit around and discuss all of their perceived flaws. You know what I mean, one woman will say, "Oh I hate my big nose," followed by another woman saying, "What? Your nose is great, but my legs are terrible" and on it goes.

I have a pretty healthy and supportive group of friends, but I often find myself in casual "elevator" conversations with women who I don't know. Regularly the other woman, a stranger, turns the conversation to weight and wants me to sympathize with the eternal struggle to lose it, but, here's the thing, I'm happy with my size. Would I like to firm up and be more toned? Heck yeah, but I'm pretty small so I don't actually have any desire to lose weight. On the rare occasion that I've dared say that to a stranger or casual acquaintance they give me an incredulous look that seems to say, "You snotty little bitch, how could you say you don't want to lose weight? What do you think you're better then us?" I don't for one minute think that these woman think I'm fat. What they do think is that is that I must be incredibly arrogant. Haven't I read the women's magazines? Haven't I watched TV? Don't I know that it is not OK to admit that you're happy with your size?

Why is is that we don't sit around with our girlfriends and name things that we like about the way we look? Could you imagine ever feeling safe enough to do something like that? Well here it is, your safe space. Comment on this post and tell me one thing that you love about your appearance, but pay attention to these rules though; if you don't tell me one thing that you love about yourself your comment will be deleted and if you tell me something you love and then use a "but" (ie "My hair is a really pretty color, but it gets frizzy in the rain."), it will be deleted too.

This is not a time for humility. I want you to brag, so go for it!

*Sorry I couldn't find the clip.

One Pick-up; Two Perspectives

2009-07-27T11:13:00.001-04:00

Here's a little treat for you, my lovely readers. I was telling our dear friend and sometimes guest blogger Big Apple Ruth a story the other day. When I was finished, I was surprised to find that she had a very different point of view on the situation then I had so we came up with an idea. I'm going to tell you the same story and then she and I will both write our perspectives on what happened.

**************

My flight to Europe was at 5:30 in the evening on Friday June 19th, so I spent the day running last minutes errands. Around 12:30 I was headed back to my apartment which happens to be a few blocks away from a famous New York City landmark, Lincoln Center. I was rushing to get home, not because I was running late- I was just in that go-go-go mode, when a young man stopped me. He looked to be about 20 and, because he was standing next to a stack of boxes, I assumed he was a deliveryman.

Young man: Excuse me?
Little Fish: Yes.
YM: Do you know where Lincoln Center is?
Inner Monologue: That’s weird; everyone knows where Lincoln Center is. Even tourists usually know because they’ve looked it up. Well, maybe he is a deliveryman and he’s new to the job.
LF: Yes, it’s a few blocks south, down at 64th Street.
YM: 64th Street, are you sure?
LF: Um, yea I’m sure.
YM: You’re not a tourist, you really know where Lincoln Center is?
LF: Ha, well I think even tourists know where Lincoln Center is, but yes, I live up the block.
YM: So you’re from here, so you really know.
LF: Yes. (Starting to get annoyed and insulted)
I was about to give him directions, but paused for a minute while I decided which avenue to tell him to walk down as both would lead him to Lincoln Center
YM: Can I tell you something? I’m from here too and I know were Lincoln Center is, I just wanted to speak to you.
At that moment I just happened to be putting the sunglasses I was wearing up on my head
YM: And now you’re letting me see your eyes. Thank you for that.
I gave him a “you must be crazy," look and walked away.

Like I Don't Have Better Things To Do With My Time: Little Fish's Perspective

I found this experience very annoying for several reasons. First of all, while I do look younger then I am, there is no way that this guy couldn't have told that I was too old for him and too old for those kinds of lines. Second, and most importantly, I found the whole way he was speaking to me extremely arrogant. He came off as so cocky and I could not stand the way that he kept questioning whether I actually knew where Lincoln Center was and if I was in fact a New Yorker. You just completely wasted the time of someone too old for you who has things to do. Also, thanking me for letting him see my eyes... gag much? That is just too cheesy and I pushed my sunglasses up because the sun went behind a cloud, not because I cared if you saw my eyes.

What did this guy think was going to happen next? Did he think I was going to say, "Oh wow what great lines, would you like my number now?" Really, is there any appropriate response to this situation?

There is no doubt in my mind that some of you are thinking, "If it was a nice looking guy LF's age, she would've thought this was cute," but no I wouldn't have. If an attractive man my age said to me, "Excuse me, do you know where Lincoln Center is," and after my response sheepishly admitted that he knew exactly where it was, but wanted an excuse to talk to me I would probably be delighted. However, even if the guy was my age and good looking, if he kept asking me the same question over and over, obnoxiously and repeatedly asked me if I was a tourist and then arrogantly admitted that he already knew the answers to the questions he'd wasted five minutes of my time asking, I would be annoyed. The age or look of him wouldn't matter because I would write him off as being cocky, disrespectful and disingenuous.

For the record, "You have beautiful eyes," is a lovely compliment that makes a man seem genuine and observant. "Thank you for letting me see your eyes," says I think I'm a big player who's smooth with the ladies.

You Can't Blame a Guy For Trying (or can you?): Big Apple Ruth's Perspective

I fully recognize that men hitting on women in inappropriate and offensive ways has been happening since the beginning of time and, like many women, I too cross the street when I see a construction sight where the workers are on a lunch break and are sitting on the sidewalk all lined up and ready to pounce. However, I'd like to offer a different perspective on this story, one that gives YM the benefit of the doubt and also takes a different approach to perception and romance.

I think it must be hard to be a man when it comes to dating. He is expected to somehow attract you, keep your attention once he's gotten it, woo you into falling in love with him, and eventually ask you (with some uncertainty) to spend your life with him. Never having been a man, I can only assume that the hardest part - or at least most intimidating - is how to get your attention, how to stand out from the pack, how to sell himself to you, the woman.

This brings us to YM. If you ask me, he was pretty clever. He saw a pretty girl on the street and actually had the balls (pun intended) to go for it. I bet he is successful in many aspects of his life if he has the confidence to stop a pretty woman on the street in an effort to meet her. So he looked about 20 - making him undesirable to a young 30-something woman - but in his defense (and to her credit) LF can appear young as well. Maybe he is in his 30s as well and just has a youthful appearance or maybe he perceived her as his peer. Whatever the case, if every man mentally ran a checklist of what he thinks the woman's prerequisites are before he got up the nerve to talk to her, the human race may end due to a lack of women and men actually meeting.

All that said, let's move on to the 'pick up' line. There were no inappropriate grunts, no mention of the word 'shake', 'jiggle', or a dragged out 'fiiiinnnneeee'. He needed to think quickly and the first thing that came to mind was asking for directions, brilliant. In those brief seconds he has now confirmed that she is indeed a local, in fact lives in this neighborhood, and is nice enough to stop and help a stranger with directions - all qualities he might want in a date or mate. I know women who have dated men for months without as much insight as this one question brought him.

Next, he admits he is lying about not knowing where Lincoln Center is and just needed an excuse to talk to her; flattery at its finest. And just in case all of this doesn't work, he throws out the tried-and-true compliment about her looks, swoon!

So I get it, she was in a hurry, caught off guard, a little offended by the vibe of the conversation and generally just not interested. But consider that this same conversation happened and she was interested. Consider he was a charming, handsome, 30something; someone who had all of the (insert adjective here) qualities that compliment her (insert adjective here) qualities. Consider that this would be a story that they would tell for years to come as everyone around the dinner table would laugh at Grandpa's need to talk to this beautiful woman and Grandma's bewilderment with this handsome stranger.

All I'm asking is - can you see it ending this way? Because if you can then you really can't blame a guy for trying.

I hope you all enjoyed us because BAR and I already have another one in the works for next month.

I'm Just Saying What You're All Thinking

2009-07-24T09:30:00.004-04:00

For those of you who aren't bloggers let me tell you a thing or two about blogger world. Blogger world is a great place. Of course it allows you a space to write and be creative, but it also allows you to virtually meet people you never would have before. Through blogging you make friends far away who share your opinions or sense of humor. You have a whole new network of others to learn from. The blogging community is incredibly supportive of each other with bloggers posting and reposting others writing or linking to your blog when they think it begs to be read. Blogger world is a safe and warm place and so here's something you rarely hear other bloggers say; some bloggers suck!

There I said it! Some bloggers just suck. Of course there are plenty of bloggers out there that I have major ideological differences with, but I respect their right to blog I just choose not to read them. My major annoyance are the bloggers who are self-proclaimed experts on everything.

You know what qualifies me to tell anyone how to live their lives? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

I mostly write about my own inner thoughts, sometimes tell funny stories and on occasion try to dole out some advice. If I ever seem to you like one of those bloggers who is advertising how perfect they are, please promise me you'll stop reading my blog!

The thing that kills me is that so often the advice they're dispensing is just terrible. Just because you love Project Runway that doesn't make you a fashion expert. Your six month relationship does not make you Oprah Winfrey and Dr. Ruth all rolled in to one and that one time that your cousin's best friend's dog walker's uncle's coworker saw Brad and Angelina in an airport somewhere does not mean you are going to be the next Perez Hilton.

OK, I got that off my chest. Without naming names, what are some things other bloggers do that annoy you.

Sometimes Women Suck Too

2009-07-22T09:37:00.000-04:00

Did anyone happen to see the show Dating In the Dark on TV the other night? I have to admit that, while the first episode inspired post, I only saw the last few minutes of it. Dating In the Dark didn't seem like it would be my kind of show, but for some reason my computer was having a hard time downloading the British show* that I was watching so when it self paused to continue buffering, I flipped on the TV which just happened to be showing Dating In the Dark. While I still don't think I'll watch this show ever again, I must say I found some of what I saw quite fascinating.

Since I didn't see the whole show, I'm going to ask those of you who did watch the whole show to please correct me if I get any details wrong, but here is what I understand about the show. Three woman and three men are picked to spend a few days in a house. The men and women can interact with there own sex, but are completely sequestered from seeing each other. Each man and woman is paired up on a date based only on compatibility. The couples are then sent in to a pitch dark room to have a date in which they can not see what the other looks like.

By the time I tuned in the couples had all been on several dates and had all hit it off. All three men and all three woman were gushing about the connections they had made. At this point the couples had still not seen each other, but had kissed, held hands and felt each others faces in an effort to decipher what the other might look like. Soon after I started watching the participants were given an interesting task, a sketch artist was brought in to sit with each participant. As the artists sketched the men and women described what they thought there love match looked like based simply on their personalities and the feeling of their faces. So, who do you think was more accurate overall, the men or the women? If you're like me you're assuming that it was the women and, like me, you'd be wrong. The men did a far better job at guessing what the woman looked like! All three of their sketches bore a shocking resemblance to the woman where as the woman did a terrible job at guessing the men's appearances.

Finally it was time for the reveal. The gimmick of the show is this; the couples stand in the dark room across from each other and the woman is illuminated so the man can see her and then the room goes dark again, the man is then illuminated so that the woman can see him. This insures that each can not see the others reaction. After their appearances are revealed the participants are asked if they'd like to see their matches again. If the answer is a yes they are to go out on the balcony and wait to see if their match joins them. As the men and women prepared for the big reveal they spoke of their nerves, but again gushed at the amazing connections they made.

First up was Leni, a cute Australian and Stephen who was cute and very smart. The pair had both been excited about the connection they had made before seeing the other. After they were revealed to each other, they went back to report what they'd seen to their castmates. Stephen was pleased. He told the other men that Leni was cute, had pretty hair and a great figure. Leni was less enthusiastic. Her reaction was to tell the girls in a bored tone that he looked like a "nice guy," as if that was a bad thing! Now it would be one thing if Leni were in a bar, noticed Stephen and discounted him because he looks safe and she likes a man with more edge, but at this point she knew Stephen's personality and knew they clicked

There was no doubt that Stephen would meet Leni on the balcony, but Leni was unsure what she would do. In the end Stephen waited on the balcony and was thrilled to see that Leni in fact showed up.

Next up Christina and Seth were revealed to each other. Christina was a cute brunette and Seth was an average looking guy- nothing special, but I can't imagine anyone thinking he was ugly. As he put it, "I know I'm not a 10, but I'm not a hobbit either." After the reveal Seth was, in his own words, "blown away," by Christina's appearance. He excitedly told the other men that he could not believe how lucky he was. Christina's reaction was just the opposite. She appeared disappointed and defeated and complained to the others that Seth wasn't the, "dashing" Prince Charming type she had hoped for. OK, WTF!! Christina was cute, but she herself was no supermodel and while Seth was no Greek God, I can't imagine anyone finding him hideously ugly. Christina continued to whine that Seth was so great and she had such a great time with him, but she didn't think she could get past the physical.

As I'm sure you've guessed Seth showed up on the balcony. He waited and waited and finally peaked over the railing to see Christina get into the back of a car and speed away. Call me judgemental, but I'm just going to say it... B-I-T-C-H!

Last up was certainly the most interesting pairing, Allister and Melanie's reveal. Allister was a super good looking Englishman. His mother had left the family when he was a baby and with only a dad and brother to grow up with he found that he had a hard time relating to women. Melanie was cute, but needed a lot of work. Melanie was an attractive woman, but, having been raised by a single dad herself, it seems that she never learned how to use her feminine wiles. Her clothes were unflattering and she needed a good bra, her hair was frizzy and her glasses weren't right for her face. There was just too much going on and so at first glance she looked like a mess, but when the camera zoomed in closer you could see that she was a nice looking woman who just needed a good makeover.

The producers saved this one for last for obvious reasons. At this point anyone who was watching would have been wondering what dashingly handsome Allister would thing of nerdy Melanie. Interestingly enough Melanie was worried not that Allister would be ugly, but that he would be so good looking that she would be intimidated. After they were revealed to each other Melanie couldn't stop smiling. She giggled as she told the other women that he was "dashingly handsome." Allister's reaction was more confounded. I found it telling though that he didn't have anything negative to say about Melanie's face or body, his reaction had more to do with her style. He nervously told the other men that she was kind of a hippie chick with this weird headband in her hair (for the record the headband was horrible).

Unlike Christina's reaction to Seth, Allister was not disparaging or malicious towards Melanie. He genuinely seemed confused and surprised, but never resorted to implying that Melanie was in any way not good enough. Allister also worried that as Melanie got to know him more she might not like him.

In this case the producers had Melanie go to the balcony first, since viewers already knew she was coming. Soon after the door to the balcony opened and Allister walked out. The two embraced and Allister said, "thank you for turning up," before the two excitedly got into the back of a car and drove off together.

OK, OK, I know that this is reality TV and that it is all produced and edited in a certain way. I also admit that I will probably never watch the show again so I am basing my judgements on only one show. Still I found much of what I saw interesting. I find it fascinating that the men did a much better job of guessing at what the woman looked like. I was interested to find that Melanie was afraid of a man being too good looking and therefore intimidating which is something I'm sure many women and men have felt, but never discussed. I liked that we saw a different side of a very good looking man. Allister's appearance would lead you to assume that he was a playboy, but instead you learned that he had many insecurities. Perhaps most interestingly though was that the men in this show were far nicer then the women where appearances were concerned.

Did anyone else see any or all of this show? Were you surprised that the men were kinder then the women?

*If you're looking for some good TV in the summer I highly recommend this show.

That's Aunt Little Fish To You

2009-07-20T21:10:00.006-04:00

Remember a few months ago when I went to go visit BFF and BFF-in-law? I came home madly in love with my new nephew and proudly showed off his pictures!

That little guy stole my heart in a big way, but, while I still love him very much, tonight he was upstaged. A few minutes ago I got an amazing call from BFF; I am going to be an aunt again!! No, BFF and BFFIL are not getting another puppy, they are having a baby!! A baby!! I'm going to be a real aunt!! I cried a little when she told me and the smile that instantly crossed my face is still there now! How is it possible that this baby isn't mine, that I don't share any actual blood relation to it, that right now the baby is smaller then my fist and yet I'm already filled with love for this little person who I won't even meet for another seven and a half months?!

That's what I feel right now, more than anything else; I feel an unbelievable amount of love!

Double Score

2009-07-17T10:16:00.002-04:00

Today is a really good day and it's only 10:15.

First let's start out with the fact that I am having an awesome hair day! I am going to go ahead and call having a good hair day when it's 87 degrees and humid in New York City quite an accomplishment.

So I'm sitting in my office (with my fabulous hair) at 9:30 this morning when my cell phone rings and I see it's my friend MC. Thinking that it's really strange that MC is calling at 9:30 on a week day, I immediately pick up the phone with a concerned, "Hey, what's up?"

****History Break****

MC and I worked together a couple of years ago and he recommended a dentist to me, Dr. V. He told me that several people in the office used him, that he was an excellent dentist and that, best of all, he was gorgeous. I am terrified of the dentist so I made sure that others agreed with MC that he was a really good dentist and not just a pretty face and then made my first appointment. After I made my appointment there was lots of, "Oh wait til you see him, he so good looking," from my coworkers and when I did finally see him he did not disappoint. Dr. V is very tall, dark haired and has that perfect white smile that any good dentist should have. I would guess he is in his mid 30's, recently married, a really good dentist and a nice guy.

**** OK back to our show****

Little Fish: Hey, what's up?

MC: I have something to tell you and it couldn't wait.

LF: What's going on?

MC: I'm just leaving Dr. V's office right now.

LF: (rudely interrupting) Oh, I was just there on Tuesday.

MC: Yeah I know, that's why I called. Dr. V said to me, "Oh, I saw Little Fish earlier this week," then he paused and casually said, "She's really pretty."

LF: Shut up!! Are you serious?!

MC: I swear on my life.

LF: Swear?!?!? Swear?!?!? Because I will never forgive you if you're joking with me.

MC: I swear to you he told me he saw you and then, it was like a total non sequitur, he just goes, "She's really pretty."

LF: Oh my God!

MC: Yeah, I knew I should tell you that right away.

LF: Thank you, thank you, thank you! You just made my day!! I literally can not stop smiling!

OK, so it would be nice if this was a single man, but it was still absolutely lovely. Also, as much as I'd like someone who is available to say that about me, there is always something special about getting a genuine, yet non-creepy, compliment from a man who is taken because you know that there is no pretense and no expectation. Oh and the fact that he is super good looking doesn't hurt either...

SCORE!

I immediately IMed Big Apple Ruth, who also goes to Dr. V, so that we could have a giggly girl moment over it, which we did, but then I received yet another compliment.

Have I ever mentioned that I know Chickbug in real life and not from blogging? Chickbug is good friends with Big Apple Ruth, who is a former coworker, and we met through her.

So after my return from Europe I was feeling a bit down. One of the reasons for this was having spent time in Denmark with my great group of friends and then coming back to a place where I don't have a group. I have a group in Copenhagen and a group in New England, but I really only have three friends in New York and they don't know each other well. This fact has been on my mind a lot lately and I've been feeling lonely so I was thrilled when Chickbug invited me to a happy hour she had last Friday.

The weather was absolutely beautiful and Chickbug chose a fantastic outdoor spot for the gathering. I had met many of Chickbug and Big Apple Ruth's friends before; they've always been a warm group and this time they did not disappoint. Everyone was friendly and nice and easy to talk to. It was a fun night and took the edge off my loneliness.

Anyway, today, after I told Big Apple Ruth about Dr. V's compliment she said (typed) to me, "You know our friend B who was at the Happy Hour? I was with her this week and she said, 'Little Fish is really cute, so well put together."

DOUBLE SCORE!

A two compliment/fabulous hair day... I'll take it!

I hope you're all having a good day as well.

Jolly Holiday

2009-07-15T15:04:00.002-04:00

London is freakin' fantastic!

My parents, who have been to London four times, met me for the final leg of my trip. They arrived in London the day before I did and when I spoke to my mom from Geneva she said, "You're going to love it here, it's like New York but different." I think that sums it up nicely.

I can't imagine any New Yorker not loving London or a Londoner not loving New York. London is big and fast and exciting. Like New York, it's quite obvious that you could live in London your whole life and not do everything there is to do there.

Of course one of the biggest differences between New York and any European city are all of the amazing old buildings you get to see. For a history nerd like me it's such a joy to be walking along a city street and suddenly stumble on a building that dates back to 1274 and England is filled with that.

I packed as much as I could in to six days and I feel like I only scratched the surface.

I saw all of the major sights; the Tower of London, Westminster Abbey, Buckingham Palace, etc, etc. We saw a performance of Shakespeare's Globe Theater and window shopped at Harrod's. We took a day trip to Canterbury, Dover and Leeds Castle. We ate fish and chips and drank pints at a local pub and strolled through Hyde Park. I took myself out for a glass of wine and met some lovely British guys (they weren't single so don't get excited).

Since I've told you about the people in Copenhagen and in Geneva, I guess I should share with you my impressions of the people in London. Like New York London is incredibly diverse; you see people of every different color and creed speaking with English accents and new immigrants speaking with accents of their own. Perhaps it's the New Yorker in me, but I think that diversity enhances any city. In terms of attitude I again found London much like New York. London is busy and the pace is lightning speed, so to people not used to that frenzied speed they may seem too preoccupied, but in reality they are quite friendly and quick to help a visitor in need.

You know how children with English accents are so freking adorable because when you speak with and English accent you automatically sound very proper. Well I had wondered if children in England would sound as adorable when you're constantly surrounded by that accent. Guess what? It turns out they are just as adorable! My favorite kids though would have to be a brother and sister I saw at the Tower of London. They were about five and seven and when they spoke they had Scottish accents! I sort of wanted to kidnap them and my Mom reminded me that this is why I can never go to Scotland; I may get arrested for attempted kidnapping.

The most fascinating part of my trip was the weather. I know you're thinking it's London, it must've been foggy and rainy. Wrong! They were having a heat wave. It was 90 degrees in London! London was having New York weather, but inlike New York subways, the Tube is not air conditioned which was brutal. I also couldn't help but laugh at the news reports that were warning residents of what to do and how to stay safe in this hot weather. In New York if it's 90 degrees at the end of June the weather reports say, "hey you're lucky its not 95."

I loved London. The city is amazing and the people are wonderful. I felt comfortable and contended there. As soon as I got to London I knew that this would not be my last visit and as soon as I left I was dreaming of going back.

Cheers!

My first look at Big Ben and the London Eye

London

St. Paul's Cathedral
(There was no old woman sitting out front asking you to feed the birds for tupence a bag. That makes two Mary Poppins references in case you're keeping track)

They have port on the street where you can plug in your electric car! How cool is that?!

Inside the Winston Churchill Museum/Cabinet War Rooms which was my favorite site and I highly recommend.

Leeds Castle
(Do any of you watch the Tudors or know much about Henry VIII? If you do this is where Katherine of Aragon was sent to live after the king divorced her. Also if you watch the Tudors like my mom and I do or just love Jonathan Rhys Meyers as much as my mom and I do then you will be as disappointed as we were that JRM was not there filming scenes.)

L
Canterbury, England

Canterbury Cathedral

Inside the cathedral

Swiss Miss

2009-07-13T13:41:00.002-04:00

Unfortunately, my friend Rowe, who has been living in Geneva for nearly a year now while studying for her PhD, slipped and sprained her ankle the night before I was coming to Geneva. By the time I got there she was in a brace and on crutches which threw a bit of a wrench in our plans. Still it was great to spend time with Rowe and I was glad that I could be there to help her out. I wish I could say that the residents of Geneva had been as eager to help as I was, but sadly that was not the case.

If Copenhagen is a city that thrives on joy then Geneva is a city that seems to thrive on negativity. Rowe had warned me of this, but its something that I really had to be see to believe.

In every city that I have ever lived in or ever visited both in the United States and abroad, people will generally be helpful to a young woman walking around on crutches. In Geneva they laughed at Rowe. They pushed past her and sneered. Taxi drivers rolled their eyes at her and one even tried to close the van door on her because it was taking her too much time to get out. The only time that anyone in Geneva seemed to be happy was when they were being mean to others. This activity seemed to bring them a great amount of pleasure.

Geneva is a small city, it takes only about 20 minutes to walk from end to end. Unlike most European cities, most of the architecture in the main part of Geneva was boring and utilitarian so I took no pictures there. However, there is a part of Geneva called Old Town that is quite pretty and Lake Geneva can only be summed up by saying, "Wow!" The Lake is unimaginably beautiful.

Rowe and I had originally planned to make day trips out of Geneva, but couldn't because of her injury. On Saturday though, she insisted that I take the Ferry on Lake Geneva to Yvoire, France which is a medieval town right on the lake. The weather was beautiful and the scenery was breathe taking. It was literally awe inspiring to see the vivid blue of the lake kissing the shocking green of the trees all surrounded by mountains climbing high in the sky.

The ferry stopped at beautiful towns all along the way and it was interesting to see that the people who got on the boat seemed much happier and more pleasant then those Geneva. One elderly woman who got on the boat in Nyon, France, the last stop before Yvoire, was so kind and patient that I actually managed to have a very small conversation with her in my terrible half forgotten high school French.

As any of you who have been to Europe know, you visit a lot of churches and I visited five on this European vacation, but my favorite was the tiny one room church in Yvoire. While I Enjoy visiting the beautiful churches of Europe and find them interesting, I don't generally find them deeply moving since they are usually swarming with other tourist and, well, I'm Jewish, but I literally got goose bumps in the church in Yvoire. There was no entrance fee and no brochure, the doors were flung open and you could walk right in to this small space just as people have been walking in since it was built in the 11th century. It was lovely.

Though Geneva itself was not the greatest experience I did have a nice time getting to hang out with Rowe. We talked and laughed and had a lovely girls night in with dinner and a movie so the trip was certainly not a waste.

The trip to Geneva also allowed me to take these unbelievable pictures:

Partial view of the Cathédrale St-Pierre
(If you have studied religion at all and know anything about the Protestant Reformation then you may be interested to know that this is the cathedral where John Calvin gave many of his famous sermons).

I climbed all the way to the top of the Cathedral, but it was worth it for this view of Geneva

A boat docked on Lake Geneva at night

Cruising Lake Geneva on my way to Yvoire

First look at Yvoire

Yvoire, France

Half My Heart

2009-07-09T13:41:00.002-04:00

I must admit to you that I feel a bit inadequate right now because I know that no matter how descriptive my words may be, no matter how much of my spirit I pour in to this post I know that I will never be able to fully capture for you the wonder that is Copenhagen. I will write lovely words and show you pretty pictures, but Copenhagen is a magical place that can only really be appreciated by visiting it for yourself. When I'm in Copenhagen I often meet fellow American travellers who excitedly tell me that they are having the time of their lives. I always laugh because this is no surprise to me; Copenhagen is a city almost impossible not to fall in love with.

Copenhagen is a beautiful city with an amazing spirit. Danes live their lives with a sense of joy and that collective joy turns into a kind of force of nature. The joy creeps in to your pores and you begin to smell it in the air. You find yourself thinking like a Dane and looking for the good in everything that happens rather then dwelling on the worst.

Visitors to Denmark are also always struck by how helpful every Dane seems to be. It's a part of Danish culture deeply ingrained within it's people to take care of others. Walk in to any store and the moment they find you're a visitor you'll be asked how you're finding the city and if you need any help. If you look confused in the Metro station, half the people in the station will come over to see if you need any assistance (I know this one from experience).

In case you really know nothing about Denmark and think that Copenhagen is a quaint little town filled with simple people, you're wrong. Copenhagen is a fairly large and very cosmopolitan city that seamlessly blends the old and the new. Danes are highly educated and love to travel to every corner of the globe. People dress beautifully and are also some of the most attractive men and women you'll ever see. Danes also have a fantastic sense of humor. They love sarcasm and irony and are self-deprecating not only t0 themselves, but to Denmark itself. Don't let them fool you though, while no one loves to tell a Danish joke more then a Dane they are very proud and love their country.

Danish design is famous the world over for it's sleek modernity and the Danes have a desire for beauty in all thing so even the most functional items like a garbage can are created to be pleasing to the eye. You want to do a lot of shopping while you're in Copenhagen, but the one drawback is that it is a very expensive city!

For me this visit to Copenhagen was no less extraordinary then all of my past visits. The weather was perfect for all five days of my stay which made walking around in the city I love a pleasure. I spent everyday seeing the friends that I miss so dearly. I got to spend time with my friends adorable five year old daughter who I haven't seen in two years and got to meet their darling 18 month old baby for the first time. I talked, laughed, and drank beer with my best friend Hamlet and good friend Thor. I made new friends and just enjoyed being in a place that means so much to me.

My joy was tempered with just a bit of sadness though, as all of my visits to Denmark are. I hate that Copenhagen is so far away from New York. Though I love New York and want very much to stay here, I miss Copenhagen every single day. When I spend time in the city I am more acutely aware of how much I yearn to wander it's beautiful shops, grab a delicious Danish hot dog on it's street corners, sit out on it's beautiful harbor, meet incredible people and, of course, spend time with my friends. Every time I leave Denmark it feels as if I've left half of my heart there. Still, I would not give all the times I have had and will continue to have in Copenhagen up for the world.

Nyhavn (New Harbor). All of the buildings you see on the left are cafe's, but you can also just grab a coffee or beer and just sit along the side of the harbor. I'm not sure there is anything nicer to do on a beautiful summer day.

Copenhagen is the kind of city where you turn a corner and see scenes like this.

Or this

Inside Tivoli (Tivoli is the oldest amusement park in Europe. It's right in the middle of the city and is filled with rides, games, shops and restaurants. Only in Denmark would an amusement park be this beautiful.)

Inside Tivoli

Inside Tivoli with a view of City Hall in the background

The famous Little Mermaid Statue. It's small, but you haven't really been to Copenhagen if you haven't seen it.

Amager Beach outside of Copenhagen where we went for a bonfire

At City Hall Square looking at the start of Strøget (Strøget is the longest pedestrian shopping street in all of Europe and is considered one of Europe's premier shopping destinations)

My Brain Is Still On Vacation

2009-07-07T10:58:00.003-04:00

Hello all! Did you miss me?

Last night I was talking to my good friend Cosmo, who had been on an amazing two week vacation of her own. Cosmo and I were discussing how we've heard other people say, "vacation was great, but I'm so glad to be home," but we just couldn't relate. Neither of us said that. Neither of us even thought that. We both agreed that other then getting to sleep in our own beds there was nothing else that made us happy about being home. We both waxed poetic about what it would be like to have the time and money to travel when ever and where ever we wanted to.

I could have easily stayed on vacation for another two weeks and been very happy about it.

Anyway, I'm back, I had an amazing time, I'm broke as a joke, but I'm already formulating a plan to save up money for my next trip. I promise I will write more about the trip soon. I think I'll break it in to three posts; Copenhagen, Geneva, and London though I have so much to say that they may all be very long post. Right now I'm still too tired to think much less write.

Thank you again to all of the amazing ladies who guest blogged for me!

Missing Pieces

2009-07-01T09:04:00.006-04:00

Todays guest post was written by Katie over at Scattered Starlight. I love reading Katie's blog because she loves words as much as I do. This post will probably outrage you and definitely make you think.

I heard a great story last weekend.

One of my acquaintances, let’s call her Sarah, recently heard that some of her acquaintances had been talking about her behind her back.

“That Sarah” said one, “she’s so stuck up. I was walking behind her the other day and I said hi but she totally ignored me. I can’t believe it. She’s always too wrapped up in herself to talk.”

From there it turned into a trash session on Sarah.

Well one of Sarah’s best friends was at the table, and she didn’t say anything through the whole rip session. But after the whole thing, she called the woman who had started the whole thing.

“I wanted to call you about the other day,” said the friend. “I just wanted you to know that Sarah has a condition where she’s rapidly going deaf. So if you were behind her, she probably didn’t even hear you say hello.”

All the other woman could say was, “Oh.”

How could she have known? Sarah is fabulous at reading lips, and most people wouldn’t even know about her condition.

Sarah, in relating the story, pointed out that it’s funny how the person who told the story had every single detail right. She had said hello to Sarah, Sarah had not acknowledged the greeting, Sarah had continued doing what she had come to do.

The girl who told the story to all her friends had told every single detail correctly. But she’d be missing the one piece that was vital to understanding.

We’re all missing important pieces about each other. Pieces that just by their absence can change our whole interpretation.

Now let’s hope we all have the patience to look.

Crushin'

2009-06-29T09:04:00.003-04:00

Today's guest post is from the lovely Auburn Kat who I have actually had the pleasure of meeting in real life. She's a great gal so read her post and offer up some words of wisdom for her.

I’ve had a major crush on one of my guy friends and it doesn’t matter what I do, I just can’t seem to get over it. There are just two problems a) he is a workaholic and b) he keeps giving me mixed signals.

I have absolutely no clue whether he truly sees me as just a friend or if he would ever want anything more than a friendship with me. One second he is flirting with me and the next second he backs off. Plus, there is the little problem with the fact that he is a workaholic, he truly would not have anytime for me. Why would I want to be with someone who didn’t have time for? I’ve been there before and I know how dating a workaholic turns out…with me being miserable.

So, once again I sit here wondering if he will be more than a friend in my future or if we are destined to just be friends. Not knowing is one of the worst feelings in the world. This is the first guy since my ex that I really could see myself seriously dating, which says a lot in itself. Who knows, maybe I’m just wasting my energy on him….which is probably the case.

I'm just scared of getting my heartbroken yet again...but if I don't put myself out there, I'll always be thinking what if....

Just Being

2009-06-26T09:04:00.003-04:00

Today's guest post is from Mandy who is not only a great blogger, but also a great friend and quite possibly my long lost sister.

One of my favorite things to do at night is to sit outside. I may sit on the swing by our pond or curl up in a lounge chair with a blanket on the deck. While during the day, the sun's splendor makes the earth incredibly happy and bright, I've always thought that the night has its own special beauty, a peacefulness that doesn't exist until the darkness of night settles in. The world looks entirely different under a hazy silver moon. True there are more shadows and noises that aren't so easily identified, but there is an incredible stillness that I don't get to experience at any other time of the day. There are no neighbors out washing their cars or grilling on their patios. No kids running back and forth and no honking car horns in the distance. Except for an occasional deer or raccoon, I am usually completely and totally alone during my nighttime respite.

I savor this time to just listen -- to the lullaby of the coal barges making their way quietly down the river, to the bamboo wind chime gently blowing in the breeze, to the crickets softly chirping . This is the time when I rejuvenate my mind and soul. Most of us spend a good portion of our day with a steady stream of noise and chaos in the background whether that be the noise of a crowded city street, a busy office, our ipod, or a great combination of many things. To some point these all serve as a distraction. Night time is when I can decompress, reflecting on the days events. Its the time when I can be completely alone with my various thoughts and feelings.

As the day slips so easily away so does my tension and stress. Gazing into the vastness of the universe and am reminded there is something greater than myself. Counting the stars, magnificently contrasted against a black velvet sky, is my equivalent to counting sheep. Deeply breathing the cool air in my lungs and slowly exhaling. Just relaxing. Just being. Experiencing complete serenity. Reveling in my nighttime ritual.
.

They Laugh Alike*

2009-06-24T09:04:00.002-04:00

Warning this is the first R-rated post on One Little Fish. You might not want to read this with co-workers over your shoulder.

For today's guest post, I'm keeping it in the family. So enjoy this story from my fabulous cousin as she sexes up my blog a bit.

Hello!

I’m One Little Fish’s cousin One Little Blanket! When she was looking for guest bloggers I initially thought I’d be a terrible fit. Her blog is heartfelt and witty and on it she talks about herself, her feelings about politics and current events and important stuff like that. No talk of diarrhea or blow jobs! On my blog I mostly talk about picking my nose and how armpits smell like chicken noodle soup and how babies are so dern cute!

So I figured for this guest post I would tell a story, something that happened a couple months ago, that will demonstrate just how different The Fish and I are. Despite both being short and lovable!

So, I met a boy at a party. He took my number, we went on a date. A pretty bogus date, like coffee or something lame like that. Then he was all, “you should come see my apartment.” And I was all, “suuuure” because I’m a little whorey sometimes. So we got upstairs and we’re making out and I’m just NOT feeling it. The kissing isn’t great. The lights are ON. Like overhead fluorescent lighting. His breath is meh. So I kind of stop and pull away and say, “I don’t know man. I’m just not really feeling this, are you?” and he says, “I’m not sure. I think we should get naked.” So I’m like, “Ok but no touching. We’re just going to get naked in this god-awful lighting and stand here.” He agrees. So we get naked. He has a great body and secret tattoos I didn’t know about (swoooon) but I’m still not feeling it. So I tell him, “Nice bod but I think I’m good.” He’s like, “Ok, how about I just go down on you?” I say, “really? And we don’t even have to kiss or anything after?” He agrees, gives me fantastic, seriously mind-blowing head, all with this like elementary school lighting going on, and then I leave, never to see him again.

You would think.

But you know how even when you live in a city with millions there are certain people whose path crosses yours all the damn time? Well, I have run into him several times since. Usually we just nod or smirk. But last time I saw him he was with a friend. He introduced me as “the girl whose ass I made out with that one time.” And it was exactly accurate.

I’m a pig.
Blanket!

*Did anyone else get the reference from The Patty Duke Show theme song? "Were Cousins..."

Three Generations

2009-06-22T09:04:00.002-04:00

While I'm off taking over Europe some fabulous ladies have agreed to guest post for me. The first guest post comes from the lovely Nora over at Walking Through the Rain, whose optomistic writing can put a smile on even my cynical face.

In honor of Little Fish enjoying Europe, I'm sharing a few of my favorite moments from my last trip to London, England.

The Players: Me (Nora), Darling (my mother) and my Gram.

Why: Vacation, Celebrate Gram's 80th birthday and visiting my cousin and her baby

Favorite Moment # 1

Like every good political science and international studies majors I had to see 10 Downing Street. Nevermind the police cars blocking the road, the creepy men with guns standing on top of the building and the huge gate that made it very hard to see the number "10," on the door, but I did. And it was glorious. If only I had seen the PM or maybe Hugh Grant a la Love Actually coming out of that door. That would be have been special.

Favorite Moment # 2

After a trip to Buckingham Palace to see the guards, stare at the lovely statues and wondering if the Queen Mum was indeed having tea we took a quick trip around the Buckingham Palace Gardens and then proceeded to traipse through Green Park towards an unknown destination. At that exact moment a real, live Buckingham Palace Guard passed us and about ten other shocked tourists. My Gram, who wanted a picture very badly with said Guard shouted out "Yoohoo! Yoohoo! Sir!" in a very young, 13-year old voice which caught both Darling and I by surprise. We do indeed have a photo of Gram with the Guard, all by herself because he stopped dead in his tracks when he heard her shout. We all shattered into fits of giggles after it was over with, all tickled by the fact that we were a mere four inches away from a Buckingham Palace Guard.

Favorite Moment # 3

My cousin, her husband and their new baby lived in Barnwell, an hour trip outside of London by train. We were enjoying the scenery: lots of happily vacant fields (empty fields in the U.S. make me sad), tons and tons of yellow flowers and great, tall, skinny trees. My gram went to reach for her bag by her feet and for whatever reason the train seat went with her! Gram, her purse and the entire seat tipped over. Once we realized Gram was okay we yet again acted like six year olds as we collapsed into one big heap of laughter on the train floor, trying to get Gram right side up, trying to sort out her bags, and just enjoying the moment.

While these were my favorite three moments (or perhaps most memorable), throughout our entire five days there, we browsed Harrod's lunch counter, enjoyed numerous delicious breakfasts which consisted of cheese, bread, various meats, eggs, juices, wine, walked at least eight miles, scared ourselves with the Tower of London and possible ghost sightings, took hundreds of pictures, wandered up a hill that had a herd of sheep blocking the only way down and above all, took the time to really enjoy the moment.

Now if only I could get to Paris, France and Rome, Italy so that I can shout "yoohoo!" to another palace guard!

Leaving On a Jet Plane

2009-06-19T14:04:00.003-04:00

Well I'm off. While I'm away please enjoy the guest blogs from some amazing ladies who've agreed to help me out.

I promise to post some pictures when I get back.

Have a wonderful couple of weeks.

Lemon Juice (or Things That Sting In an Open Wound)

2009-06-13T17:26:00.003-04:00

Last night was a great night for sports watching. My Red Sox, who are in first place in the AL East, played the Phillies who are in first place in the NL East. The New York Mets were playing the New York Yankees (let's go Mets) and it was game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals (that's hockey if you didn't know). Because I am a sport loving girl and because I had a rooting interest in both baseball games, I took myself out to a local sports bar that has multiple TV's showing all three games.

One of the many things that I love about being a sports fan is the instant camaraderie you have with others who are watching. In the little corner of the bar where I stood I quickly made friends with the other patrons huddles in the corner with me. As the night wore on the groups of friends blended and bled until we all became one big happy group with people newly arrived assuming we'd all come in together. One member of this newly formed group was a 40 year old married man who seemed nice enough though I didn't talk to him all that much.

At some point this man and I started talking about, what else, sports. At the end of our brief conversation this nice guy innocently said, "You really like sports. You must be every man's dream."

Yes it's true, I like sports, but as we know I am no man's dream. What does it matter if men appreciate the fact that I like sports, or that they think I'm nice or smart or funny or pretty? What does it matter if men think any of these things about me if no one wants to be with me?

It doesn't matter at all.

Ever Vigilant

2009-06-11T23:02:00.006-04:00

I am sticking my head out of my cave of self pity today because I must say something about yesterdays shooting at the National Holocaust Museum. This is a sick and sad reminder that, while racism and anti-semitism are not as in our face as they were in past generations, hatred and bigotry still exist and we must never stop fighting intolerance.

As you may know if you read this blog, my maternal grandparents and great grandparents were refugees from Nazi Germany. Another set of great grandparents, along with cousins and childhood friends of my grandfathers were killed in concentration camps so I've always been well aware of what happens when hate is allowed to root and grow.

If you've never been to the National Holocaust Museum, go! It is a difficult but worthwhile experience. Go and think not only of the holocaust and not only of other genocides, but also of those small examples of hate that you see in your everyday life. Think of those words that you hear people use that they insist are harmless and remind yourself how those words can grow and commit yourself to being ever vigilant in the face of hate.

Please keep the family of murdered security guard, Stephen Tyrone Johns, in your thoughts and prayers.

It's really a wonder that I haven't dropped all my ideals, because they seem so absurd and impossible to carry out. Yet I keep them, because in spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart. I simply can't build my hopes on a foundation consisting of confusion, misery and death.

Diary of Anne Frank

So Tired

2009-06-07T21:14:00.006-04:00

As you've probably noticed I haven't written much lately which is partly because I've been away and partly because I have nothing to say. These past couple of weeks have been really crappy. The theme for the beginning of my summer seems to be, "If it can go wrong, it will," and it's left me feeling emotionally exhausted. It's the kind of tired that you feel deep in your bones. I feel as if I have used up all of my energy and I just have nothing left in me.

I'll write again when I can think of something to write. Hopefully I'll think of something to write before I leave for vacation on June 19th. The good news is that while I'm away I have some fabulous people guest blogging for me and they surely have things to write about so I hope you enjoy reading their words as much as I do.

*********

I promise that I will also get back to commenting on all of your blogs this week. It was pretty much impossible to keep up with my Google Reader while I was on the business trip from hell last week.

There is a possibility that I may have something to write on my other blog, but we'll see about that.

Away...

2009-06-03T09:00:00.000-04:00

I've been on a business trip since Monday and won't be back until late Friday. I'll respond to all of your comments on my previous post then.

Have a great week!

Reports of My Demise

2009-05-30T13:33:00.004-04:00

Right now, I'm reading Timequake, a book by Kurt Vonnegut who is one of my favorite authors. In the book, Vonnegut asks another author, the fictional Kilgore Trout, about an unusual expression he uses. Trout gives Vonnegut a brief , but plausible answer. Later, Trout finds Vonnegut again and decides to tell him the truth about the origins of the expression. "You really want to know about [the expression]" asks Trout. Vonnegut writes:

I had been satisfied with his first account. Trout was the one who wanted me to hear much more. My innocent question earlier had triggered memories of his ghastly childhood in Northampton. He could exorcise them only by telling what they were.

I wrote something about how I'm feeling right now. I thought about posting it here, but then thought better of it. I don't want everyone to be able to read it, but I do need it to be read so I created another blog that can only be viewed by those I invite and I posted it there.

If you want read it either leave me a comment with your email address or email me at onelittlefish [at] ymail [dot] com.

Wondering What Happened To Becks...

2009-05-25T19:53:00.002-04:00

That makes two of us.

Looks like the joke's on me again...

Your Feel Good Story Of the Day

2009-05-20T12:40:00.000-04:00

I'd like to preface this story by making sure that you all know that I still hate the Yankees and that I will always hate the Yankees, but this is a lovely story that just happens to involve one of their players. If you haven't heard about Brett Gardner's home run yet and you need a little pick me up for the day then this is a story for you...

In the hours before the Yankees game last Friday night, 25 year old outfielder Brett Gardner took time to pay a visit to a children's hospital. During his visit he met a young girl who was in need of a heart transplant. This girl gave Gardner a special bracelet and told him that it would help him hit a home run. Gardner assured her that he would try.

Brett Gardner is not a slugger, in fact he'd only had one home run in his professional career. What's more, Gardner wasn't even scheduled to be in that evenings line up so, he suited up and took his place in the dugout. That is until Johnny Damon got in to a dispute with the umpire and was ejected from the game. Gardner was in!

Gardner was having a pretty good night, having hit both a single and a triple, but it would be in the 7th inning that the real magic would happen. Brett Gardner stepped up to bat with his team trailing the Minnesota Twins 4-1 and hit an inside the park home run! This was the first inside the park home run in the new Yankees stadium and the fans went wild, but I'm sure that that young girl sitting in the hospital watching was more excited then anyone!

The story would be great if it just ended there, but it gets better because the following day, after 107days on the waiting list, that little girl found out she was getting a heart!!

You can read more here: What a reward for Gardner: His little fan gets new heart

The One Train

2009-05-18T14:41:00.004-04:00

Saturday April 25th was an unseasonably hot day in New York. The temperature climbed well into the 80's and, being a great lover of warm weather, my spirits climbed with it. I took advantage of the weather by first taking a long walk in Riverside Park and then took in a baseball game at a bar where the whole front panel of doors was flung wide open. Of course after all of that, in true Little Fish style, I was running late for the dinner I had planned with friends.

I was meeting them at a place about 20 blocks from my apartment. I'd intended to walk, but, as I rushed to get ready, I realized that the subway was probably the better option.

After throwing on a cute knee length pleated skirt, fitted tee shirt and black flats, brushing my hair and fixing my makeup, I headed out. I looked cute and was feeling good so, when I walked out of my building and the warm air hit me I again contemplated walking, but soon realized that I just didn't have enough time so I headed for the subway.

Shortly after stepping on to the platform the number 1 train arrived. It was then that I noticed the guy who was standing slightly in front of me. He was good looking and well dressed, but what I noticed most about him was what a gentleman he was. He politely ushered all of the women on to the train before starting to get on himself. Because I was standing slightly behind him he didn't see me until I started to get on the subway at the same time he was putting a foot inside the car. As soon as he noticed me, he stepped back and motioned me to go first. I smiled and thanked him, astounded by his politeness.

The subway was fairly crowded so he and I both grabbed on to the same bar close to the door and stood in very close quarters. He smiled at me and said, "so where are you off to tonight," and that's when I heard it; his beautiful English accent! Handsome, polite and a great accent; I had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming.

I was only on the train for a few minutes, but in that time we talked a little and he asked for my phone number which I happily gave him.

So, there's the story of how I came to meet Becks.

Musical Inspiration

2009-05-15T11:51:00.008-04:00

I'm taking a page from Mandy's book and sharing with you my current musical inspiration. In case I haven't made it clear, I like Becks*. A lot! Of course with this amazing new feeling comes a bit of fear. It's scary to put yourself out there, but I promised myself that when I met someone great I would not allow my fears to stand in my way. Every time I need a little reminder of this I listen to This Years Love by David Gray which is not only one of my favorite songs by one of my favorite artists, but also encapsulates exactly how I feel right now.

In the song the character begins by lamenting that he cannot take another heartbreak and then goes on to say that he's not able to give his heart over to a new love until he is 100% sure that he will not be hurt, which is of course impossible. Somewhere in the middle of the song though, he begins to waver and enjoy what he is feeling. By the end of song he has thrown caution to the wind and realize that it's worth it because no matter what happens, "life goes on."

This years love had better last

Heaven knows it's high time

I've been waiting on my own, too long

When you hold me like you do

It feels so right, oh now

Start to forget how my heart gets torn

When that hurt gets thrown

Feelin' like I can't go on.

Turnin' circles time again

Cut like a knife, oh now

If you love me got to know for sure

Cuz' it takes something more this time

Then sweet, sweet lies, oh now

Before I open up my arms and fall losing all control

Every dream inside my soul

When you kiss me on that midnight street

Sweep me off my feet

Singin' ain't this life so sweet?

This years love had better last

Cuz' whose to worry if our hearts get torn

When that hurt gets thrown

Don't you notice life goes on

Won't you kiss me on that midnight street

Sweep me off my feet

Singin' ain't this life so sweet

This years love had better last

Date number three is tomorrow so keep sending those good thoughts my way!

* I decided I like Becks better so Becks it is!

Just Perfect

2009-05-13T15:45:00.008-04:00

I'm stealing this meme from Brandy.

The perfect outfit: A dress that looks like it came anywhere from the years 1945-1965- very, very Little Fish

The perfect meal: That would be a tie between between real New York style thin crust cheesy pizza or a toasted egg bagel with cream cheese, whitefish salad and a slice of tomatoes (clearly I'm Jewish and for those of you who aren't and don't live in the NYC my heart breaks for the fact that you've probably never had whitefish salad!).

The perfect hangover cure: Lots of water and sleep.

The perfect road trip: Anywhere with friends or a boyfriend where you have great music, snacks, make fun stops along the way and just laugh and talk the whole time about everything and anything.

The perfect facial feature: This one confuses me... do you mean what's perfect about me? Then the answer is everything. Do you mean on a celebrity? I can't think of one. Do you mean what feature do I notice most about others? Then the answer is eyes and smile.

The perfect drink: Water, tea, unsweetened iced tea, good wine, good beer.

The perfect song: Midnight Train to Georgia by Gladys Knight and The Pips. If you have to ask why then you need to get your ears and head checked.

The perfect sign of affection: Cuddling!!

The perfect afternoon: Sunny and 75 with low humidity, taking a walk in the park (Central or Riverside) then meeting friends at a great cafe where we can sit out and have drinks and enjoy.

The perfect vacation: A cool new city with someone I can have a good time with, great food and lots of history and shopping.

The perfect invention: Vaseline. I'm sure you're all thinking of dirty jokes right now, but really it's an amazing product.

The perfect type of wedding: I know this sounds cheesy, but if two people love each other then that's the perfect wedding. That being said I want a traditional ceremony by a Rabbi followed by a party filled with family and friends.

The perfect album: Counting Crows, Recovering the Satellites and Saturday Nights and Sunday Mornings

The perfect accent: ha ha ha... A few weeks ago I would've said Scottish, but now we all know that I'm going to say English!

The perfect date: Taking a long walk on a beautiful night and just laughing the whole time

The perfect weather: As stated above, 75, sunny, low humidity.

The perfect party: An eclectic group of interesting people, everyone mingling, great music, fun party dresses, delicous cocktails and no one taking themselves too seriously!

The perfect sport: BASEBALL!!

The perfect thing to say: I love you (as long as you mean it).

The perfect day of the week: That depends on the week.

In totally unrelated news I am thinking of changing The Brit's name to Becks (as in David Beckham) because he's a potographer and soccer coach. I just think Becks has a nicer ring to it. What do you guys think? Should I keep The Brit or change it to Becks?

Perhaps It's a Hormonal Imbalance

2009-05-11T13:44:00.002-04:00

I think that there may be a problem with my nostalgia gene. You know the one that all woman seem to have for times gone by no matter what those times were, I just don't seem to have that. I've always known that about myself, but the invention and now, let's be blunt here, total world domination of facebook has made this lack of nostalgia all the more apparent. I will never quite understand why someone who was a friend of a friend's dog walker's uncle who I met back in 1999 finds it necessary to friend me on facebook.

I grew up in a town of 50,000 people and my graduating class of 555 students is one of the smallest my high school had. My high school regularly graduates classes of 700-900. I didn't know everyone I went to high school with and when I go visit my parents and I'm out and about in my home town it's very rare that I run into anyone I know. So, because of my "big town" upbringing, I am exceedingly surprised that people I barely knew in high school and haven't seen since I graduated 13 years ago friend request me. I always assumed that nostalgia was something possessed mostly by people who grew up in small towns where everyone knows everyone.

If I could categorize my high school experience I would call it fine. Really, just fine. It wasn't the worst time of my life, but it certainly wasn't the best. I wonder, do these people who are collecting former classmates as facebook friends consider high school to have been the best time of their lives? In the years since high school I have sometimes wondered what happened to certain friends or foes of mine, but I've never been all that curious about what the girl who sat 3 rows behind me in junior year English class, who I never so much as said hello to is doing these days.

Recently someone I had been friendly with in college found me on facebook. Though I hadn't kept in touch with her, she had always been a sweet girl so I gladly accepted her friend request. As I looked at her page I saw that she had joined the group, You know you went to XYZ University when... I clicked on the link for a better look and as I began to read the list of twenty items I soon realized that I only identified with or even remembered a handful of them.

I liked college. I liked college a lot; I had a good time there yet I never have wistful thought of the things I would be doing right now if I were still there. Perhaps it's because, as much as I liked college, I don't think that was the best time of my life either.

Right now, right here today is the best time of my life so far. Still, while I know that I will one day look back at this time of my life and smile at all of the wonderful memories, I don't think I will become nostalgic for them either because I truly believe that there are even better times yet to come.

If I'm Dreaming, Don't Wake Me...

2009-05-10T10:35:00.005-04:00

Date number two was just as amazing as date number one.

I realize that these posts have basically been little more then tweets so I will leave you with one little gem, I will give him his blog name. From now on he will be known as ~~The Brit~~ Becks. Yes that's right, he's English and has the sexy accent that goes with it!

People All Over The World

2009-05-07T20:35:00.005-04:00

It looks like date number two will be this Saturday night. Being a staunch believer in happy energy and good vibes I'm going to ask everyone who reads this blog; friends, strangers, those who comment and those who just lurk to send lots of positive thoughts my way. For my part I promise I'll be thinking good thoughts too!

Thanks in advance!

Look Kids, Big Ben, Parliament

2009-05-05T11:50:00.001-04:00

So I know that you all really want to hear more about the amazing date and I promise that I will tell you soon. For now though, I need to just sit with it and enjoy it for a bit so just keep sending those good thoughts and vibes my way and I swear I will tell you more as soon as I'm ready. Until then I'll finally tell you all about the European vacation I'll be taking in late June.

From June 19th until July 4th, I will be embarking on my own little three city tour. I'm starting out in my second home, Copenhagen, Denmark. I haven't been there in two years so of course I'm thrilled to be able to go this summer and see all of my friends, especially Hamlet, and just spend time in the city where a piece of my heart will always reside. I'll be there for five and a half days and then it's on to Geneva, Switzerland.

My friend Rowe is currently living in Geneva while pursuing her PhD. I'll be there for about four days in which time I will catch up with Rowe, see the beautiful scenery of the area and eat lots and lots of cheese. I've never been to Switzerland, but I've heard that it's incredibly beautiful and it's always best to see places with people who live there and can show you the real ins and outs.

From Geneva, it's off to London, England! It's hard to believe, but, even after having lived in Europe, I've never been to London. My parents have been there three times and are in love with the city so I convinced them to come and meet me there. Yeah! We'll be in London for almost six days. I know that there is a ton to do in London and that six days will only scratch the surface, but I am so excited to finally be going!

I'll be gone for about 15 days so in that time I will be posting some guest blogs. Is anyone out there interested in guest blogging for me? If you are, leave me a comment with your email or email me at onlittlefish [at] ymail [dot] com.

Loving The Now

2009-05-04T11:11:00.007-04:00

"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery.

Today is a gift. That's why it is called

the present."

Alice Morse Earle

Though it's against my nature I am trying very hard to live in the moment. I am trying not to focus on what can go wrong or even what can go right, but instead focus on what is. It's easier said then done, especially when you know you're on the brink of something, but I'm going to try like hell!

Like A Bolt Out Of The Blue...

2009-05-02T11:09:00.005-04:00

STOP THE PRESSES!! I HAD A DATE!!

It wasn't some awful blind date or a chance encounter with a random jerk. It was a real date with a real boy!!

It had been so long since I'd been on a real live date I was afraid that I wouldn't know what to do, but I had nothing to worry about. The date was amazing and today I can't stop smiling.

I know you want more details, but I'm not ready to share quite yet. I promise I will share when I'm ready so, until then, just send lots of positive thoughts my way.

I really like this one...